Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Whats up ma homediggiddy dog?

Originally, I was planning to post up a word of the day at the top of each of my posts so I could review...and be awesome >.< but I looked up the Merriam-Webster Dictionary's WOD (word of day) and it is a word that no one, let alone myself, would use in any context. The words origin, however, has an interesting French root, and because I'm taking French in school, its nice to understand rooties :)

Anyway, I feel that lately (well this year) I have been somewhat-ly neglecting my blog and so I hope to improve my consistant-ness. Damn it's hard to get good grammers o.o I feel like an illiterate creature. Updating a blog might actually be good, because it helps me to organize my daily feces...wow that didn't come out right...I'm trying to avoid...epithets. I love the thesaurus, it does wonders. Oh geez, I digress so much.

So the other day, I was confronting my dear biology Amaral-Lee about my progress report, and so I was trying to explain to her my struggle to focus...and so on and so forth. She tried to help me "brainstorm" ideas on how to cure this "ailment". So, I have full schedule (because of 7th period journalism), and since biology is 6th period, I try to inch on over to my next class that is directly underneath (on the second floor). Anyway, I was sort of indicating my agitation by shifting my feet uncomfortably, but it was taking a while so I just said, "so...yeah, that's cool, thanks, but I gotta get goin'..." and she totally understood which was awesome, cuz I zoomed out of there like a liberated pig before Christ's birth.

I think that I'll need to go to summer school. I'm actually looking forward to it because I like the unnaturalness of going to one or two saturated classes a day. I just wish that Wash adapted to block schedule like Lincoln (lucky bitches). Then we could concentrate on a subject for a couple hours and actually learn something substantial you know? 55 minutes or whatever, is not enough to learn at the rate we are going (imo). Even though most of the class time at school is pretty much used to do homework, I think that it could be because of the daily schedule structure. Pour example: we only have 2-3 classes a day for around 2-3 hours each, and we would be able to cross oceans.

Wow, I realize that I have not blogged about my day. Whatever...blogs are for ramble ain't they? Pardon mon francais...je vais parler bon anglais mais..je suis tres fatigue et paresseux...Le jour est fini.


Sunday, December 14, 2008


I wonder what compels me to do things. If I can manipulate it, then perhaps I may be able to prosper in school. Is school a sanctuary or a temporary confinement? Supposing that it is a sanctuary, what does that imply? That school is a place for learning, a place to escape to? Escape from what? Would I appreciate what is inside, if the outside was terrible? So it is a matter of comparison? But let's think for a minute here. Perhaps school is a confinement. Time ticks by monotonously, tediously, and when the merciful bell releases us like wild stallions liberated from an inescapable fence (did i take that metaphor too far?)Anyway, that means that the outside is too inviting...too good...for one to enjoy the inside. So making myself miserable on the outside, may actually help me to get over my outrageous schoolphobia (one day there will be a medical term for that I can assure you.)

Normally, you would assume that I am simply introverted, and I shy away from the social interactions of the school environment, however, I don't think so. Actually, I consider being social a form of salvation from thinking. I hate thinking, it makes me depressed. A teacher once responded to one of my writing assignments that I think about something, I think about it again, and then again and again - note that this was positive feedback from her. I think that she was right, but it really is detrimental to the soundness of my mind. I am finally concluding my self-evaluation. Probably, I think too much because I have some fake OCD shit goin' on in my brain, and I can't stand not being right, so I strive constantly to find the correct answer but then finally when reaching it, I try to find loopholes in my own argumentation - to sum it up...my minds a fuckin' circus that goes around and around and around. This is very very bad.

I wonder if there is medication for this?


Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Chuggachuggachuggachugga...choochoo! I'm like a stupid train that keeps moving along the tracks sloppily when it runs out of coal to burn. Although this metaphor is not completely accurate, I am in a vicious cycle of exhaustion. My life is pathetic - eating, sleeping, going to school, sleeping, eating...etc. I am so sloth-like that I don't even want to bother finishing this post.