Thursday, February 26, 2009


There is something wrong with my teeth and its making me feel like barfing and coughing.

Isn't that weird?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

where the fuck are we going

I have no clue where the squishy I am going in life. I worry a lot. Worry = donut stress. There is so much fuckin urban pressure. Every phlegmatic day I am surrounded by obtuse, parochial pricks. Why does everything have to be fucking peanut butter? I mean I guess these waffles finally understand with their experience that there are tons of kids who have wicked potential and the potential is never reached. So much fucking expectation and praise is given that when these kids have a reality check, it was all fucking marshmallow.

I really don't understand why I have to live like this.

btw the reason that this post was all funky was cuz i am trying to add new words to my vocab - i made a list of new things: excellent
word up
peanut butter

Monday, February 23, 2009

Sunday, February 22, 2009


My mood is affected a lot by music. I listen to a sad song, I feel sad and contemplative. I listen to a faster, happier song, I feel happy and hyper. It's weird how my mind can be so heavily influenced by sound.

Anyway today I co-MCed for the Day of Remembrance (DOR), Kevin and I read the candle-lighters bio's and stuff. I was so nervous that my legs shook. That was a first time experience for me. In the past I have performed in front of thousands of people, however it was with other people. Today I was speaker by myself to 500+ people. I must have sounded very nervous. I think that most people who told me I did a good job were just being polite. My friends didn't even mention it at all. *sighs* To think that I do public speaking. I suppose that speech and debate isn't really public speaking because there isn't anyone really there besides the judge and your opponent or something. I can recall in my youth that I didn't give a damn what people thought. I hate growing up, I wish I didn't mind what the audience thought, or whether I would mess up.

I think that I am always surrounded by intelligent individuals wherever I go. My friends get good grades, not that it accurately determines ones intelligence, but still. Because I participate in many community events I tend to meet many junior/senior and college students who tell me about their lives and inadvertently, their academic accomplishments. Naturally the conversation turns to me and they ask, "so megumi, have you thought about college yet?" and I say all the time - but really, I have many doubts about how far my faux determination will take me.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I Guess it's okay

So followup on the last frantic post - it wasn't erased so I was like "whoo."

I had a debate tourney today. i sucked.

but i ate this incredible bacon burger - totally made up for everything.

just now i managed to make madeleines. i was spacing and put too much flour but they taste yummy:

okay something seriously trippy is goin on. when i post this why the fuck can't i see my normal blog?

Friday, February 20, 2009


I just erased historical footage from an unbacked up interview. fuckfuckfuck. my dads never going to let me take on serious projects anymore. Oh my god. what am i going to do. i am so fucked. i imported the stupid footage but it didn't appear. what the FUCK happened. SHIT

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Regret is Unhealthy

I think that I feel remorse for a significant portion of my life. Whenever I watch movies, someone asks their mother or something, "do you regret anything that you've done in your life?" The mother always says that she doesn't regret any of it. How would I respond? Why are there so many things that hold me back from fulfilling myself. I want to be able to do things and later just feel like it was a good learning experience. Unfortunately, I think that I am an extremely bitter human. My distraction has become a routine that my brain patterns have adapted to. To break this psychological habit will be difficult. I don't know why I put myself in these sort of straits.

When sitting on a Muni bus, I always create an action plan for accomplishing my daily objectives. Nothing ever gets done.
"When all is said and done, more is said, than done," is a quote that I've used as an extemper when referring to Zimbabwe's power sharing deal. However in my case I feel that it is relevant as well, for I always say that I want to do something, but eventually nothing gets started and therefore never finished. Even now I complain about my lack of crois que je suis une vraie girouette...yet I am still here, blogging - procrastinating. I recall creating a blog for resolutions, although I haven't touched it for a while, I can probably guarantee that not one of those goals have been reached.

All is said and done
and more is said
than done

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I don't know why I get so distracted all the time. My brain feels really heavy.

I have no idea what to do.

Monday, February 16, 2009

i wish i was philanthropist-like

today was a completely wonderful waste of time.

happy president day.


the highlight of my day was shooting freethrows in the rain. like as soon as i got to the quart it started raining. it felt really intense and motivational. i shot for about 25 minutes tops. but it was wonderful. i made quite of few shots and missed some too. i just feel like i should have stayed out there longer.

kinship relations. lol.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

the gansta word:buh or blood wtf

lalala. today was boring. i went on comp all day. the highlight was that i got to see this cool movie "the international" pretty sweet flick. recommend recommend recommend. definitely no comparison to slumdog, but it was pretty intense. at the edge of my seat the whole time - literally. and by golly my left ankle fell asleep. i thought that i would just fall down those blasted stairs. besides the point. christina, since you are all "fuck capitalism," this would be a good movie for you to watch. aaah life is nice.


yesterday i went to the anime on display convention (aod con). a bit pissed that i had to wait 2 hours. i called random people and i guess they felt pretty awkward. patty even said he had to go and hung up. happy days indeed. i talked to typhoon for a while, but 20 minutes later she tells me that my voice is all static-y and heard not a word i had said since the beginning. it really makes me feel conceited. grr. i called all these other people too, either they were ignoring my call or they were busy. i started to call harry but then i realized that she was probably at the AAA cleanup. i called tong but they were in a pet store.

oh i almost forgot. yesterday morning i also went to typhoons house for the world affairs challenge. i started writing the skit for our presentation at the contest. idk how good it is at the moment though. I need to work out the logistics etc.

i made cookies and they're kinda weird i guess. i think i fucked up my teeth, they hurt a lot. gaah i've never had a cavity and now THIS. my life shall end. oh why am i so high maintenance.

oh and btw happy chocolate&sex day (i decided to rename vday this cuz in essence that is what it is) toodles and happy presidents day,

Friday, February 13, 2009

Fo Sho

I got an A in bio somehow. It's weird, cuz I don't recall doing anything since we started this semester. But I am HAPPY.

anyway, i fucked up the quiz. I just realized this a few hours ago, I remembered the circle opposite. SHIT like yeah.


have a good day

Thursday, February 12, 2009

LA crepe

I was sick today. My brain is hurting. I suspect I injured the back part of brain when I went to sleep and banged my head on the top of the bedstand. It hurt like a mother fucker. That was last week though. But I've been coughing and my right temple throbs and there's a lot of pressure there. Damn. It hurts unless I take drugs. Grrr.

Besides that, I was suppose to make 21 crepes for French class. It took me a very long time:
I burned a few of them though :(

I went to debate practice because if I didn't then Alicia and I would be dropped from the invitational on the 28th. It was pretty pointless. I remember why having a partner stressed me out. ahhh c'est la vie.

Furkheimer my brain hurts like a bitch. Laalalalala

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I go to school and feel like a fucking piece of shit and then I leave school feeling really good. It's better than nothing - but I'd prefer that I feel good all day...

I think that recently I've been getting very irritable. I hope that I don't show it visibly to other people. the pettiest things put me on edge.

curse adolescence

Saturday, February 7, 2009

biscotti making

So today was pretty fun I think, albeit a bit of uncomfortableness this morning. I woke up "early" in terms of waking up in the morning on a Saturday, however I had a cup of coffee and was up and ready for the road. So when I woke up (feeling like I had an immense hangover...) I got dressed and brushed my teeth and then went back to bed. Why, you wonder why I would do such a thing. Well, I was being picked up to go to this event and they were not there yet (traditionally they are a family that is consistently tardy - just like mine). Hence, I went back to sleep for a good 15 minutes. ANYWAY, back to the topic at hand. My church group, the Jr. YBA made biscotti today as a fundraiser for the group. We met a Jamaican woman and went to college on our way to the Oakland temple (meh inside joke). When we got there we chilled for a while, 'cuz we juss cool like dat. Nah, we are just cutters by profession.

To understand this better, we need to go back about 12 hours. We were in the same chocolate biscotti. See today we were making orange. I digress, we cut...a LOT of biscotti. Actually... ALL the biscotti was cut by my friends and I. We're talking HUNDREDS. Yeah, so you get the picture. We need to wait until the first few batches are done before we begin the slaughter.

It was sort of awkward cuz I was tired and not tired intermittently. Haha. I would get very very exhausted all of the sudden and sleep for five minutes, and hyper all of the sudden in bursts. Caffeine fucks you up that way. So at the end (aprox 3pm) we were chillin' like villains. It was someone's bday so we ate cake and ice cream (coincidently it is Matens bday today also and I owe him an aloe drink, aha this is totally irrelevant.) So then we went to CT which is around the corner from the temple, and I got a tapioca/boba drink that was totally a rip off. Whoever said that Chinese drinks are bargains...THINK AGAIN. I got lychee milk tea, and what I GOT was chai tea with bits of old/dried up lychee in it. The drink was nearly 4 dollars. RIP OFF. I think that whoever reads this should boycott this chain. It's called "Sweetheart Cafe". I am such a hypocrite cuz the Sweetheart Cafe in SF CT is really good. I guess everything about SF is better than Oakland. WORD MOTHAFUCKA.

okay so i also posted a pic of the biscotti. the orange ones were on-hand so *shrugs* they taste better too.

Oh and before I forgot to mention, but I also saw this INCREDIBLY AWESOME movie called "Slumdog Millionaire" with Nemo and yeah. I suggest the movie to anyone. The genre isn't normally my thing, but DAMN. It was the greatest movie - I say that it deserves that fuckin' Oscar way more than Benjamin Button. However I must confess that ehm, Brad Pitt is quite attractive in that movie (in the middle lol).
The thing is that Slumdog totally overwrote my superficiality.

But seriously, I REALLY REALLY suggest it. Hmm I would put it in my other blog as a MUST SEE movie, but I'm too lazy.

pe@ce out

Thursday, February 5, 2009


I really need to get a life. But then again, life is pretty boriing to me! Not like I'm saying death would be more interesting ;) not getting suicidal here. I feel sorta annoying. I probably talk to people on facebook and aim too much. Like its cool when you talk once a week to a person, but long convo's for long periods of time tend to be a bit weird. I mean I had the this convo with this dude last night until like the morning, and i guess we shouldn't talk too much. We might get bored. Just like how when I see my friend not from my school, we talk hella and then when we have a sleepover thing we get bored by the time we get back. LOL I guess I'm not that interesting of a person to chill wit. Awgihaneklwjdnsfkjs. I really really need to find a way to release stress.

I've gotten so accustomed to NOT doing homework, that I tried to write this report and DAMN I only got half of it done. I'm abhorred by my own lack of motivation to get this shit done. I need to write a speech too and revise an essay for fuckin winery.

Life is so...unpleasantly pleasantly unpleasant. Please kill me with a machete for that..

"Well you done done me and you know I felt it, I tried to be chill but you so hot dat I melted, I fell right through the cracks...and i'm tryin get baack." luuurve it. Man I'm such a hypocrite. lalalalala

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


I made a sweatshirt. but its too small. but its still awesome.

heres the back...

Monday, February 2, 2009

Megumi est tres fatigue!

life falls apart eventually

i had no idea it would happen so soon

what is love

what is life

i feel so superficial in all means

why is it that i need to feel this way

i wonder if it has something to do with my gene configuration

yes...blame it on my genetic structure, and not on my own lack of balls

edit: wow just kidding