My mood is affected a lot by music. I listen to a sad song, I feel sad and contemplative. I listen to a faster, happier song, I feel happy and hyper. It's weird how my mind can be so heavily influenced by sound.
Anyway today I co-MCed for the Day of Remembrance (DOR), Kevin and I read the candle-lighters bio's and stuff. I was so nervous that my legs shook. That was a first time experience for me. In the past I have performed in front of thousands of people, however it was with other people. Today I was speaker by myself to 500+ people. I must have sounded very nervous. I think that most people who told me I did a good job were just being polite. My friends didn't even mention it at all. *sighs* To think that I do public speaking. I suppose that speech and debate isn't really public speaking because there isn't anyone really there besides the judge and your opponent or something. I can recall in my youth that I didn't give a damn what people thought. I hate growing up, I wish I didn't mind what the audience thought, or whether I would mess up.
I think that I am always surrounded by intelligent individuals wherever I go. My friends get good grades, not that it accurately determines ones intelligence, but still. Because I participate in many community events I tend to meet many junior/senior and college students who tell me about their lives and inadvertently, their academic accomplishments. Naturally the conversation turns to me and they ask, "so megumi, have you thought about college yet?" and I say all the time - but really, I have many doubts about how far my faux determination will take me.