Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Whats up ma homediggiddy dog?

Originally, I was planning to post up a word of the day at the top of each of my posts so I could review...and be awesome >.< but I looked up the Merriam-Webster Dictionary's WOD (word of day) and it is a word that no one, let alone myself, would use in any context. The words origin, however, has an interesting French root, and because I'm taking French in school, its nice to understand rooties :)

Anyway, I feel that lately (well this year) I have been somewhat-ly neglecting my blog and so I hope to improve my consistant-ness. Damn it's hard to get good grammers o.o I feel like an illiterate creature. Updating a blog might actually be good, because it helps me to organize my daily feces...wow that didn't come out right...I'm trying to avoid...epithets. I love the thesaurus, it does wonders. Oh geez, I digress so much.

So the other day, I was confronting my dear biology Amaral-Lee about my progress report, and so I was trying to explain to her my struggle to focus...and so on and so forth. She tried to help me "brainstorm" ideas on how to cure this "ailment". So, I have full schedule (because of 7th period journalism), and since biology is 6th period, I try to inch on over to my next class that is directly underneath (on the second floor). Anyway, I was sort of indicating my agitation by shifting my feet uncomfortably, but it was taking a while so I just said, "so...yeah, that's cool, thanks, but I gotta get goin'..." and she totally understood which was awesome, cuz I zoomed out of there like a liberated pig before Christ's birth.

I think that I'll need to go to summer school. I'm actually looking forward to it because I like the unnaturalness of going to one or two saturated classes a day. I just wish that Wash adapted to block schedule like Lincoln (lucky bitches). Then we could concentrate on a subject for a couple hours and actually learn something substantial you know? 55 minutes or whatever, is not enough to learn at the rate we are going (imo). Even though most of the class time at school is pretty much used to do homework, I think that it could be because of the daily schedule structure. Pour example: we only have 2-3 classes a day for around 2-3 hours each, and we would be able to cross oceans.

Wow, I realize that I have not blogged about my day. Whatever...blogs are for ramble ain't they? Pardon mon francais...je vais parler bon anglais mais..je suis tres fatigue et paresseux...Le jour est fini.


Sunday, December 14, 2008


I wonder what compels me to do things. If I can manipulate it, then perhaps I may be able to prosper in school. Is school a sanctuary or a temporary confinement? Supposing that it is a sanctuary, what does that imply? That school is a place for learning, a place to escape to? Escape from what? Would I appreciate what is inside, if the outside was terrible? So it is a matter of comparison? But let's think for a minute here. Perhaps school is a confinement. Time ticks by monotonously, tediously, and when the merciful bell releases us like wild stallions liberated from an inescapable fence (did i take that metaphor too far?)Anyway, that means that the outside is too inviting...too good...for one to enjoy the inside. So making myself miserable on the outside, may actually help me to get over my outrageous schoolphobia (one day there will be a medical term for that I can assure you.)

Normally, you would assume that I am simply introverted, and I shy away from the social interactions of the school environment, however, I don't think so. Actually, I consider being social a form of salvation from thinking. I hate thinking, it makes me depressed. A teacher once responded to one of my writing assignments that I think about something, I think about it again, and then again and again - note that this was positive feedback from her. I think that she was right, but it really is detrimental to the soundness of my mind. I am finally concluding my self-evaluation. Probably, I think too much because I have some fake OCD shit goin' on in my brain, and I can't stand not being right, so I strive constantly to find the correct answer but then finally when reaching it, I try to find loopholes in my own argumentation - to sum it up...my minds a fuckin' circus that goes around and around and around. This is very very bad.

I wonder if there is medication for this?


Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Chuggachuggachuggachugga...choochoo! I'm like a stupid train that keeps moving along the tracks sloppily when it runs out of coal to burn. Although this metaphor is not completely accurate, I am in a vicious cycle of exhaustion. My life is pathetic - eating, sleeping, going to school, sleeping, eating...etc. I am so sloth-like that I don't even want to bother finishing this post.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


i made these absolutely fantabulous Madeleines (albeit the second batch was not as excellent as the first)!

i would like to say that "it was so easy!" but it was kind of complicated and there is butter all over the floor and it is 2AM in the morn.

I video taped a lot of the process on my new dig video camera. I will try and get a picture of the madeleines before they are gobbled up!


btw i plan to many more things! madaleines among others is going to be a partial Christmas present for a lot of people xD (man was that sentence awkward of what!?)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Purpose In Life

I will try volunteering.

I really like folding presents!

edit: wow - "folding presents"? How wired was I when I wrote this. I meant "wrapping presents" xD

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


mtg for pancake breakfast

ate curry pho (mmmm so deliciousss!)

argued with mom

went home

chilled at home

went to saras house

chilled at saras house

went to dvd store and got the dvd "forgetting sarah marshall"

finished dvd

went home


cooked pasta and sauce


brings us to the present


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Wellness Center

Well, I have finally went to talk to a counselor in the Wellness Center. I was really embarrassed at first as I walked through the doors and asked to see someone. It was as if I was playing the role of a disturbed child or something so I tried to remain as cheerful as possible. The resident counselors are on vacation so instead this young Asian lady said she could talk to me instead.

I explained everything to her, about my eighth grade problems, leading into my current shitpile. She was pretty cool but she kept coming back to, "we need to organize your life with activities, (insert this guys name that i forgot) is really good at finding activities in the community etc." I am quite interested, except it seemed a bit like she was selling something to me in those points. I'm really glad that I could really talk to someone who would listen and who isn't really a part of my life. I have no idea whether she understood everything or not, but people who have this occupation seem to have an archetype for my condition and she mangaged to fit me into one (there goes that word again).

For some reason I want to remain a calm, composed person, without letting on that I am really distressed. I feel this pressure from people to be the person that I have been for the past year. When I "reveal" some of the real things I'm thinking they tend to shy away from me. I am strange which I do not deny, but I enjoy having people to talk to - so I need to tone it down sometimes. I realize that I have freaked and scared away some people in the past.

Anyway, friends are great (this is said after Patty agreed to type my bio questions) yay!


Monday, November 3, 2008

Libertarianism and Maternal Relationships

Just today I decided to proclaim myself a libertarian in the car. My mom went onto all this garble about how libertarians are so arrogant and selfish blahblahblah. And here I am expressing my political views and she just goes on and on always finishing with "well you can believe whatever you want" but wtf? I said that I did not believe that the welfare system is working out right now and she goes on another tangent about how school lunches are a form of welfare and without that students could not perform as well...-.- seriously. And I'm like, "well your stereotyping now" and she's like "no I'm archatyping, they're different" obviously she's doing both. I don't understand how she can be such a hypocrite.

I got that from her. She just does everything wrong and annoying. But at the end of the day I feel really bad at the way I treat her. Even though everything is her fault I feel horrible that I act like that towards her. It's instinct. My brother is inheriting this from me and she used to get it at work...Sometimes it makes me almost cry thinking that I may turn into that kind of person...


PS: THE ELECTION IS TOMORROW! I know that I'm being all excited and stuff, but now that I'm old enough to really understand whats going on I'm just like - FUCK! The fate of the next potentially 8 years will be decided tomorrow. I know that I'm all "Fuck mainstream candidates" and shit, but I really really hope that Obama will win. I don't want that weird ass nasally grandpa to be the representative of my country for four years. And if that nasalman gets sick, we'll have an idiot who portrays the female "stereotype" in the most ridiculousness way. Also the State elections. No on prop 8! forgive me for repeating this (I know that its all over the city). I'd like to see someone in SF (particularly the Castro) having a sign that says "YES ON PROP 8".

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Three Hours

How am I gonna get all this work done? I bombed my quiz today.

Anyways, I need to find a good costume for Friday!



Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I was soooo tired today after school. I was okay until BAM the stupid sleepiness hit me and yeah. I was a walking zombie. I fell asleep on one of the big chairs in starbucks for a couple of hours, and I'm surprised no one tried to kick me out lol.

I need to write congress speeches and get notes from someone who went to the jam yesterday.
I also need to send my new draft to the Sterprop because...yeh. Anyway, I need to add a quote from Amaral (i don't know her first name and that is a problemo). I also need to add an 'update' it's hard to update already written works. If I have time I also would like to make index cards with major events because I am behind at the momento...


Sunday, October 26, 2008

oh ma gah

i don't know how things end up this way...wait...i do...stupid procrastination (oops i should hate the [wo]man (myself) not the game...)

i have three projects due, none of which i have started. wait - why am i blogging again?

still must do french play, mw report thing, english thing, AND i have to write a corrected draft of my milk article.

so much for a life.

actually there was a halloween partay at my church and it was boring in the beginning but then i used the face makeup they had and, yeah, fun. i also gave Hito a two face makeover (mwahaha it looks funny) at the end it was fun because i talked to matt and hito. my game was stupid but w.e.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

the debate




all the f words i could use to describe today's speech tourny

5-5-5 worst score possible

oh well, all good exp.

and there were a lot of hot guys there


Friday, October 24, 2008

shop till ya drop - literally

six hours. i barely sat down. i hardly bought anything. me feet are swollen. i almost bought $88 dollar shoes. debate tm ciao

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I just got home from speech and I was soooo fucked.
grr i have a tournament on Saturday too! >.<

I need to do more prep...

Shiit I have so much homework I am drowning!

Today I just curled up and died. For the past two days I have been one of the undead. Normally I can handle 3 hours of sleep or less with my trustee friend coffee, but I woke up so late today that i missed firsto periodo for the first time this year!

I had two tests today, both after lunch and I bombed the bio one even though it was easier than the quizzes. I think I wrote a bit excessively for the essay question. I tend not to comprehend the question until half-way through and I realize that "how would I know...? oh shit that wasn't the question" chincharones. I went too much in detail of what the H+ and OH- concentrations were. Oh well, alls fair in love and war...

During the debate meeting I was intent on studying my bio book carefully. Actually during homeroom today ma hr teacher sent me to Lawders (sp?) class to borrow an AP bio book so she could answer my question on whether Urea (a type of mammal animal urine) was a cheaper reactant to forming a product in melamine. I asked her because I read somewhere on a forum last night (very late) when I was doing research on the content of the milk contamination.

What I've noticed lately is that aside from the Bay area, a lot of people don't like Asians. It depresses me to finally sorta understand the racism and generalizations that people in America practice. The reason I bring this up is because in the melamine forum that I was at, there were pages and pages of China bashing. I know this is hypocritical to say but, honestly I think that it's semi-okay for someone to bash China - as long as you're Chinese. I suppose that this could also be considered a form of racism, but I don't see people bashing Europe nearly as much as China. I just feel so solee fol ma peeplhole (notice the use of accent). I hate defending my racism. ladidadida reality is a dick hole with kidney stones (very painful indeed cuz they need to pee the stones out >.<)



I didn't realize I had so much homework until it was too late. Obviously I'm still awake at aprox 337 AM

I haven't even studied for my bio test. I guess i'll just do it at lunch.


Monday, October 20, 2008


i think that i am a very angry person

all my frustrations build into anger because i have zero tolerance

such a tragic human being

such a dumbfuck


this is called self-bashing

it seems habitual these days


Sunday, October 19, 2008


last night was so COOL

i went to this realllyreally fancy restaurant and i ate the tasting menu which was sweeet!

the restaurant was called "Manrosa" or something, and it was hella high class.
we had almost 15 courses! there was so much. i could list them but i'm too lazy, srri dudes. ANYWAY the service was grrreeeat! and yeah. I went with my aunt who was visiting SF from LA for my birthday, and prior to that we went shoppping and I got two new pairs of shoes on SALE from Loehmanns and an awesome vest! I am really happy (we didn't even spend more than 60! record!)

i really wanna buy some more cool t-shirts but things are so expensive! why isn't the economy affecting these prices significantly? grrr, so much for taking advantage of the fricken economic crisis!

The other day i lost my wallet, with all my credit cards and gift cards from my b-day >.< grr. yeh i looked everywhere. No one is a good samaratin these days.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


I want to be a doctor.

I was watching "House" and the show is so great.

I will become good docta one dayy


Saturday, October 11, 2008

Wafer Thin Happiness

That just how the cookie crumbles eh?

I feel like a what does christina call it...uhhh "pseudo-philosopher" teehee


Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Day

I think that I have new respect for people I originally thought were stupid.
It's a bittersweet feeling. I am a narcissist and well, I don't know how to describe in a relatively flattering way that it makes me feel jealous. The good thing is that the jealousy doesn't make me hate them or anything, it's just sort of letting go. The whole bond was similar to a hydrogen bond...not making sense there - just wanted to give a visual image.

I think that my day is boring, but at least it wasn't horrible.

In realizing that when I get to know people I tend to drift away, I don't know how to solve the problem. Once upon a time I read a book about this man who only yearned for what he could not have. I wonder if I have inherited that trait from him, for I only wish to attain things that seem far away - once obtaining it/or the person, I fear that letting go is the only option. The reason for this is that I either dislike their personality, get annoyed, but mostly I find another unattainable thing.

This is a horrible way of thinking, and I hope that I can grow out of this.

I have been reflecting lately on how I became this loser shell. I realized that so many things could have been accomplished if I hadn't gotten sick and discovered anime and manga.

There is a story behind this. Middle school was a beautiful sanctuary for this young girl - everyday being wonderful fun adventure. She had many friends whom she could rely on and trust wholeheartedly. She was a relatively capable student, with a suitable balance of extracurriculars - which she loved. She loved singing, but never appreciated it until it was gone. One day, things changed. She became somewhat depressed. She started to miss school - the excuse being a chronic stomach ache that was not entirely non-existent, but also not entirely a sufficient reason to be absent. Slowly, the reason was not only to go on her computer and watch anime, but was also the stress of trying to keep up work from home and facing people when going back to school. There was this pressure of facing the teachers after being absent for so long. Thankfully she miraculously managed to sustain her average grades.

Her social life went downhill. She no longer had so many friends she could trust and rely on - because she was not there for them the whole year. Bonds break from distances. Still to this day, possessing more superficial acquaintances to converse with in class and to wave to in the halls. What the hell has happened? Every tick of the second hand plagues her brain, her urge to be released from school becomes obsession. Tick. TOck. It is no longer an obsession but a longing so great that, the greener grass on the other side - the freedom - becomes too wonderful to imagine. When she is finally liberated from the madhouse, there is nothing but barren desert.

Knowing this. The cycle continues, not in ignorance, but repetition that surfaces from habit as well as a slight hope that something will be different.

Crying yet? xD

-The Leaf

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


I don't like the way that I try to make other people perceive me as.

It is hard to do this.

I wonder how long it will last.

-the lonely leaf

Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Since I wrote my report so late I made a fatal error on it.

Oh well.

I am really having trouble in my life. Many things are trivial, but I can't manage to step up to plate and i make it even more difficult for people when I delay. I hate it when people dislike me because it's uncomfortable, but then they end up disliking me more when I draw things out. I have no idea what I am going to do, I was considering going for counseling in the wellness center. It's ridiculous because the things that bother me really should not be bothering me. It must be a chemical, genetic thing.

-the depressed hog

All Nighter Idiot

As you can see it is 3:35 am

I was watching drama's until about an hour ago when I remembered I had a lab report due tomorrow (today).

I'm just being an idiot.

Not I have to do a French poster real quick.

I have a beautiful life don't I?


Thursday, September 25, 2008

heavy heart

All the time I feel like my heart is going to fall out. It strains for some reason...heavy heart - a literal phrase I suppose.

I have begun to feel like life is just meaningless, I used to find salvation in certain things but recently they have become less entertaining. It may be silly for me to get depressed at being bored, but there you have it.

When I review what I did in a day, it substantiates to nothing. I feel like the whole day was wasted. Wait a second though, what would I have done instead of that? there is nothing that I could have done. My life is destined to be worthless.

If I could do something - anything that would tremor the world to the extent that I felt it was significant maybe this feeling would disappear.

My morals have begun to falter as I learn more and more about human nature and the suffering of the world.

This author of Chinese history in America committed suicide. Supposedly because the history she delved into was so depressing and horrible that she lost her will to live.

I sincerely hope that does not happen to me. lol, like that would happen.

I can't differentiate what I think is right and wrong anymore.

Kill one save a million.

What the fuck?

Kill a million save one.

What the fuck?

Why do we have to kill anyone at all.

interfere in someones business to keep our minds and consciences sound

fuck it up

it's like leaving a man about to jump off the bridge alone
it's not your business, but honestly would you be able to walk away?

Let them do what they want - it's not their business

I have no idea what to think anymore

hitler was evil but...


it would be justifiable to torture him with utter cruelty until he begged to be murdered?

it would be justifiable to leave him in solitary confinement forever?
-what chance did he leave the jews?


random bullshit that didn't make sense

srri i'm just trying to sort myself out

Monday, September 22, 2008


hmmm, i'm feeling pretty emo right now.

love is such an interesting thing lol

i feel cliche

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Shedding the Corporates

We should all get naked and celebrate our liberation from the corporate influence.

I don't feel like explaining but think long and hard and I believe that you will see my brilliant fantastical logic.

So my life is a mess, but oddly enough, I don't feel as stressed out as I want to be. Maybe if I was stressed out I wouldn't be wasting my fuckin' time on my blog and ranting.

I joined Eagle News but I'll be forced to quit tomorrow because Propster said I'll be off the team if I don't get a story in...and guess what? I don't have a story so *boom chakalaka boom* I'm gone. Whatever, they don't even have a meteorologist (rainMAN)position ANYWAY! (which was what I was aiming for obviously...)

Maybe I'll see if I can be an editor, because I actually want to vasti-fy my knowledge on video editing. It is a skill that would be good for me to perfectomundo. Actually, my GPA might be under 2.5 which is fucking hilarious because omg, I'm going to be fuckin slaughtered by the fucking system - but then again that's just an excuse. I'm just a fuckin bullshitter. I hope I can stay on the debate team because that is my refuge...

I was reading this article on stem-cell research today at Borders and it is a very interesting concept and I can't distinguish my position on it. I don't know if I want to support Stem-cell research when they are basically killing potential beings, or to support it because it will save people who are already alive in this world (especially since my dad could be cured if the research was successful). I'm leaning more to the latter.

I wonder if I'm a selfish bitch to think badly of people when I'm talking to people.

I suppose it doesn't matter as long as we're both having fun...
-...it's not as if I'm saying it out loud (white lies are harmless right? *wink wink*)

oooh quote of the day...

“They’re twins,”
Nader continued.
“If you look at their economic policies, other than taxes and so on … they’ll curtsy to the, quote, prestige of the Treasury.”

uhh to give some context...he's talking about Obama and McCain *teehee*

I saw this really cute sweater and vest at H&M today. Gaaaaah *struggling I try to walk away from the big corporate doors of cheap-laboring H&M store but the red lights are too bright, too tempting, I am losing to them..."how could I? I betrayed them all"...still struggles with last of strength...get's sucked into the H&M vortex "I am sincerely sorry to y'all peeps who believed in me...sorry for the betrayal...it-was-just-too-tempting!"*

ciaomein babies

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A Cool Quote

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

I agree yet disagree. For all it's worth, it is clever indeed.

-The leaf

Edit: Another quote I found while browsing Facebook quotes!
Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. - Ralph Charell

"The Kingdom of God is not a democracy" - Chariots of Fire

Friday, September 12, 2008

Ralph is pretty chill

Ralph Nader has many policies that I agree with. Overall I think he is much less generic and label-y than the other two (especially obama *ah-hem*)

the only thing i disagree with is affirmative action, elimination of nuclear power sources and some other...trivial??? things *ah-hem*

i will be writing an article thingy on a political spread for the newspaper due to come out on my birthday 0cto sixo - wait for it my fellow athenians


Sunday, September 7, 2008


I couldn't find a document hosting thing so...even though probably no one will look at this...

Presentation Outline
Christine, Serena, Christina, Megumi

Presentation (3-5 minutes)
I. Introduction
A. Introduce members of group: e.g. “Hello everyone, my name is [First Name and Last Name] - to my right is Serena - that is Christina….etc.
B. “The summer reading book we used for this project is “Coffee Will Make You Black” by April Sinclair. We thought that the main theme of this book centered on the growth of Jean in the sense of her personality and maturity - in the midst of the civil rights movement. “
C. “We thought that chapter 16, although simple, significantly demonstrates her personal “change”.”
D. “I’m not sure if you noticed this awesome artwork done by Christina[indicating Afro-Jean] but we thought that this was a way to express this chapter in a more conceptual fashion because..(Whatever you want to say, possibly something about how she gets the afro for rebelling against her mother, and the whole Charisma society – or it could be mentioned later…whatever…aha). “
II. Body
A. “Each of us chose a particular quote that we thought would adequately represent the different components of this chapter”.
Note: Order/assignment is subject to change.
1. Serena:
-“blahblahblah…I think this quote was important because….”
2. Christina:
-“blahblahblah…I chose this quote because I felt it demonstrated…”
3. Christine:
-“blahblahblah…this is a follow-up quote to [person who did quote above], because it shows how they wanted to conform as close to Caucasian society as they could…blahblah..”
4. Megumi:
- “blahblahblah…We all thought that this was a good concluding quote because in Jeans mind, the idea finally settled that she didn’t want to be like Terry or her mother – I think that she was beginning to realize that she wanted to be herself.
III. Conclusion
A. So this book portrayed the maturity of an intelligent girl following her growth from childhood to adulthood. Her hardships, misunderstandings, discovery, decision-making, and self-understanding.

Try to get the audience to understand key concepts of book:
- Personal growth
- Self-acceptance
- Realizing that people change and people won’t stay the same forever
- She can be whoever she wants to be and doesn’t need to follow the herd of schmucks.

oops looks a bit funky. oh well. don't complain just fuck urself...jk >.>

all this is five minutes? *gasp*

i hate naturally smart people

they make me feel bad about my personal incompetence. chinese people for example. they don't need to study for tests because they know everything. oops. generalization there. i meant, most chinese people. most boys with glasses. sorry guys. stereotypes are all i got.

i wish i was naturally smart. unfortunately i think i got the stupid gene when they handed them out on the chinese side.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Agggghhhhhh English Teacher?

So I had my first 10th grade honors English class today. I hatehatehatehate sitting in the front row! Geewiz, I don't enjoy being smack-dab in front of her face, I can't help but stare at her prominent double chin. She seems decent right? But, grr, I hate hearing repetition. Just another one of my ocds.

She has this weird thing about her. She must have had some bad experiences or something, because when she said "some people" she scowls ferociously, rawr.

I am still a loner in a big ocean. I haven't met anyone spectacular worthy of my presence. jk ;)


Monday, August 25, 2008

The First Day of School Whoopdidooda

I felt that since today was a special day, it warranted a post. Unfortunately, I cannot claim that today was any more than a completely-fucked-up-worst-day-of-my-life kind of day *smiles sickeningly sweetly*. Dude, I got my fuckin' red river at school and I had stomach aches all day. I went to first period after homeroom and confronted my 1* English teacher after going all the way to her class - I was so embarrassed. It went a little bit like this:
Me: So uhh, you're still teaching 1* English Honors right?
Clinton: Yeah, I still am.
Me: So uhhh, could I go in and sit down, I'm in your class.
Clinton: Actually, this period is my prep period, I won't see you until tomorrow honey.
Me: Oh, haha, of course. Yeah, well, you didn't have to tell me! I mean you know, I just came here...to check...to see- to see if you were teacher English Honors, um you know...to meet my teachers...so I'm gonna go to class now..ehehe...

Shoot my fuckin' brain now.

Haha, well that is over and dealt with. Needed to get that out of my system.

So I'll organize how my day went by periods:

Homeroom: Weird sub. A-W-K-W-A-R-D. My friends were just like: "Hey can I see your schedule again?" "Yeah sure my classes changed" "oh we're not in any classes together! That sucks!" "So I'm gonna go back to my seat now and wallow in my own pathetic loner-ness because its exhausting to talk to you right now" (Oh, that was what I was thinking...)

2*: Adv Algebra Honors - De Los Reyes
Hmmm, I'm wondering if I bit off more than I can choke on. Hopefully I will do okay in her class. She is incredibly young, and different from what I expected. The class was incredibly (I know I already said this) A-W-K-W-A-R-D. I didn't know anyone and everyone seemed focused on their work (as the good little Chinese girls they were) or talking in their own little preordained groups/cliques. We got our billion pound books on the first day, lalala, I feel emo.

3* P.E. - Wert
Well. BORING. Christina is in my class so I thought "oh this won't be too bad, I can chat with Christina all period" but we got assigned seating (by alphabetical order of course) and we were separated by many many chairs. It was awkward once again as I looked around at potential people I could converse with. NADA. That was a very long period.

4* French - Focherio
Tough. Well, I might be able to learn something, she decided she won't speak English to us anymore. Assigned seating by name again, separated from Erika. Uneventful.

Lunch - I am such a loner, its sad. I saw Jane next to the tree so I approached, and Bartho came and greeted us. We hung out for the rest of the short period. It was cool. I enjoy hanging out with them. Less receptive people are awesome, you can just stand in silence and you don't actually need to exert any effort at maintaining a stable conversation without it getting awkward. I just love run-on complex sentences.

5* Modern World - The Lady (forgot name)ooh I remember...Blinick I think
In the first 10 minutes, my first impression of her was: B-I-T-C-H. Later on I found another BITCH target, this stupid girl who whistles and mutters 'fuck' at random times, and is one of those people who give everyone shit. She is like those gangster smart mouths that are hecka stupid. If you're gonna be a smart mouth, at least be relatively articulate and have some sort of intelligence to back up the shit you're giving the teacher. The teacher turned out to be okay. I like history, so maybe I'll like her a little bit. Although her head wrinkle mark makes her look evil *shrugs* whatever. Oh, and its good to have an openly gay teacher (I think, she said partner so I assumed).

6* Biology - Amaral (but today it was Colonel something as sub)
Very awkward and yeah didn't know anyone. The two people at my table became fast friends and in the end they talked about their experiences on drugs. Not just weed, but going to raves and doing hard stuff. Dude, its just stupid. The guy was like, a freshman. I feel too awkward to attempt to join in. I don't and never intend to try drugs.

I am fucked in the butt (as someone wisely quoted)

Hopefully this first day isn't foreshadowing my future sophmore year or I'll seriously need to get either a hobby or another therapist.

-Leafer (but not drugs)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Brief Recap

So, I know I haven't posted for a while. My life hasn't been wonderful, but neither has it been terrible. I rather enjoyed this summer. Although very exhausting, I had something to do everyday not having to ponder what to do next. I think that when there is some kind of schedule that I MUST follow, I thrive. Well, anyway, the internship was pretty cool, well, we didn't do much, but we had some pretty interesting results - which brings me to the reason that I decided to do a post in the morning when nothing extraordinary has happened.

If anyone reads this, please watch this video and rate 5 stars and subscribe even if you don't like it. It's my ego okay? A comment would also be superb.


Ciaomein -

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Toe Pain

My toe hurts. My pinky toe on my right foot to be exact.

Today a holocost survivor visited us and told us her story. It was really interesting but I did not have time to stay to ask questions for I was in a hurry to catch the 43 bus. I made it, yet I was still out of breath. The woman - Gloria, actually escaped. She was on her way to the gas chambers but she saved herself by jumping a ditch. I am horrified with the degrading conditions.

An animal would feel violated living like that.

A bug.

A fish.

A molecule.

It honestly brings tears to my eyes - no joke. Anyways, it was incredible.

She is writing a book. I definitely need to read it.


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

anger management classes may be necessary

Do you ever get so angry that your heart clenches and you feel like you can't breathe? It's a disgusting feeling.

You feel like strangling them with a chopstick.

Proving everything they say wrong.

Yell that they're utterly immature that they should act their own age?

Punch them


Straight punch in the fucking chin.

Adults should seriously act properly and more maturely.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

If you are old at least act it.

Who gives a shit about stuff.

Who gives a shit about humanities.

Who gives a shit about the stupid fucking people on the bottom what the fuck can we possibly do?

It's all talk! What the fuck are you doing to help? Staying at the bottom is not helping anyone. Try and going up the fucking latter and get rich - then you can donate all of the money to the poor. But of course by the time you get to that stage you won't care about those people you formerly defended - because you would no longer be one of them.

Human selfishness is unbelievable.


Fuck communism.

Fuck everything!


wow I feel better now


Friday, June 13, 2008


It's been a while. No particular reason, just my normal lazy ass self. Anyway, finals were this week, for the first three days, and it was shorter and less stressful than expected. Math finals I failed, yet I still managed to achieve a B on my final semester grade (SCORE! Yet it does seem strange that he says it's 25% of our grade when...*cough* it's not...) Hopefully he's not pitying us, because it'll make me gag. I was stupid enough to go to school yesterday, and I talked to Baker for a while because he made me and Cinderella stay in the classroom...(we were the only two that came), and Baker said that he planned on being single for the remainder of his life - either he's unaccepting to his homosexuality, or some his aspirations of being a monk are still in his brain.

For most of my classes, I would just need to show up and the teachers would tell us to leave so I left before 3rd period with Adela, and we picked up one of her friends and went to the park. We played on the swings and observed a man facing the bushes doing some things *cough*, and we tried to guess whether he was a pervert or he just needed to pee really badly...there were several other crazy theories, because he just stood there in the pissing position (back facing us) for maybe 30 minutes! I got sap on my black sweatpants that I was wearing while I was on the slide...the only plus is that the sap smelled like fresh pine - hah! much of a consolation that was.

After that we decided to go to Stonestown, but Adela needed to return her book so I agreed to meet with her at Quickly's. I walked with Cinderella's friends Minh and Edward down Anza because I had nothing else to do. They were going to Stonestown too so we planned to go together. It was so fucking hot though! We dropped by Minh's house briefly, and he gave me water =D. We got on the 18 bus that goes straight to Stonestown, but their friends [that Adela and I didn't know]came along, and it became awkward so I went to the back to sit with Adela. The ride was preety long.

When we got to Stonestown, we split with Cinderella's group, and Adela and I strolled around the mall doing nothing. We bought Razzles at Hot Topic, and she has become obsessed with them. We then went to Borders and I read a book and she left to go watch a movie downtown with her boyfriend.

My mom picked me up and we went home. I had an urge to make bread, so I did, and the first one didn't turn out that good. I made a second foccacia bread (with milk instead) and it turned out pretty nice. I then made some pizza dough, which I haven't decided what I should do with it now.

I think I'll try making more different kinds of bread today, I just need to run to the market and pick up some yeast packages.


Thursday, May 29, 2008

No Matter How Many Time's I Think About It

It's difficult to keep using capital letters one word after another. I read this book at Borders, and it was pretty good. I can't wait until school is over, but things are looking up for me a bit these days. *sigh*


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Spiteful aren't We

I think that my problems lie in my psyche. I should see a psychologist or read up on it. Life sucks.


Monday, May 19, 2008


Posting options not working. Throat is sore. Laziness is evil.

ciao baby

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Really Sick

I woke up not being able to breathe or swallow - at all. My brain was like on fire, and my stomach was like...gweee. I think that this is my bad Carma. I haven't practiced music for a week now. I finished this really inspirational manga about basketball, but now that it's over, my inspiration is gone. Gah.

I still hate going to school.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The irritable feelings

I think that I'm brushing people off a lot lately, it's not a wonderful feeling. I just can't help being pissed off by their existence, and the fact that they are so ridiculously petty and/or stupid. During the night I was imagining what it would be like if I were to die, or if anyone I knew were to die - anyone dear to me, and what would happen to us... Would we just be in an eternal sleep, never regaining consciousness, or would it be like an eternal sleep, and we would wake up as if we were sleeping for several days straight and would we exist somewhere else. I'm afraid, yet terribly curious. Curiosity definitely killed the cat. I have no idea what I'm saying...but how can one predict what will happen? Is there a such thing as the supernatural? How does science explain death?

Today was boring, and event-less. I just hate going to school.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Repetitive Rant

Hmm...I'm irritated now. I hate this "no offence" phrase. I've said this before, but why the fuck do you say 'no offence' if you think it's going to offend them? Gosh.

Today I went to a Jr. YBA meeting representing SF. It was two hours, and extremely tedious. Erin went and brought a friend, who was nice, but it was boring for me because they were talking about school and stuff and I had no idea what they were talking about. After that I went and read manga at the Westfield Borders. Shut up, it's my Asian genes okay? It was very boring, because I was just re-reading a series I have read several times already. I intended to read the latest Economist, but I was too lazy to use my brain.

My dad is back from Chicago - without any omiage. Sad. We are going to watch a Blockbuster now. I have to practice piano and finish clarinet, else I'll have bad Carma once again.

Time is Money - Money is Time - Reciprocals don't always work

Friday, May 9, 2008

Prissy is the New Norm

I am either very irritable, or recently just extremely bitchy. I have no other explanation for my unexplained attitude towards anything and everything. Perhaps it is as Christina had so profoundly stated somewhere - "we are just [much] less tolerant than in the beginning of the year" (yeah not verbatim but I'm not an elephant...).  I'm aware that I haven't posted very much, but this is probably my pissy attitudes fault. Hate the attitude not the man(woman), teehee.

I had an extremely bad day, and it's all because I didn't practice clarinet yesterday. Carma sure is a bitch huh? Oops, I didn't say that, *prays to Carma-god-man*, I was just kidding...

I'm freaked out by this guy, because I was friends with him before but now it's like, "yuck", yeah. I think my standards for friends has gotten a bar higher. I think I'll stick with people like me for a while. I was late for school.

3.33 is okay, still in the "B" Honor Role, but it was ruined by my PE class, oh well - tis' is life.
PE - C
Science - A
French - B (didn't do any work at all)
English - A (barely any curriculum...)
Geometry - B (not too bad...not too bad...it was originally an A- but I don't know what happened)
College/Career - Passing
Forensic Performance (Debate) - A (I'm getting a B for the semester...which sucks...)

Life is going horribly. I'm pissed at my mom for not bringing me toilet paper when I yelled at her too. She finally did, but that was ten minutes later. Next time, it's my turn to pretend to be listening to music when she's yelling her fucking head off...

Those Motherfuckers-

PS: I wonder if I would be considered an angry person?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


Love that song. Anyway, gotta go, but just wanted to share. I was just bustin' out some moves to this song. Check it out.

"Who do you, who do you, think you are?"

ciaomein lossa's

Monday, May 5, 2008


I slept through almost the whole career ed class, and when I couldn't sleep anymore I just listened to the conversation about American Pie movies from people around me - not contributing though. I ate lunch with Rosy today and I got a chowmein chicken plate. It was so good that I'm not even hungry now - which is very rare for me. I have a piano lesson later, so I have to stay in the city. I went to Jane's house briefly to practice piano for a minute, because I thought I had lost my touch. I am still religiously practicing clarinet, and I have no idea if I'm improving, but I think that it's kind of fun, which I think is the most important (is it really?).

Perry and Jane bought a lot of new clothes Saturday, and the clothes look exactly the same as their other ones - just newer, and cleaner [I suppose]. I finished my math homework in class, and my table mates are gangsters, but they're fun. Cuba smells kind of bad - like metal and bad breath, oh well, I'll just have to turn around and talk to Cinderella. There's this Asian girl at my table and she seems to be on good terms with the other two guys. The other guy is cool, but weird.

Two tables ago, there was this stupid guy and this other stupid girl, I may have mentioned them in previous posts. The guy is always with his friends and greeting me, and I have no idea if he's mocking me or not, but it's just like...I didn't even talk to him when he was at my table. I don't even talk to him in class! Weird, and freaky.

Shrek is ugly and awesome. Fiona the Ogre sucks.

Ciaomein is for winners

Saturday, May 3, 2008

That Lazy Bastard

I'm lazy so I'm going to only put a few words in this post.

So today I didn't have anything to do, so I hung out with my aunt. It was pretty fun. I went to her house and I read this script called "Only In America", written by a couple of her friends (professional screenwriters). It was really good - and the first movie script I've seen in my life.
It's a rough version of what will come. It was pretty interesting. Anyway, I read the script for several hours, and then we were hungry so we went to this Vietnamese place on Irving (I forgot the name), and it was so good! I got my usual, Pho Tai, and my aunt got the curry chicken pho - which was strange yet good. After that we went to a movie at the Metreon. We saw Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. It was
freakin' awesome, except for the awkwardness of seeing...*cough* nudity *cough*
lower halves...of the human anatomy...of both genders...quite unnecessary.

Don't tell my mommy.

After that we went to look for this tea place, but we couldn't find it so we went to this high-end candy/bakery thing, and bought macaroons. Mine was chocolate lavender, and hers was rosemary and something else that I forgot. They were delicious. After that we got truffles ($2 each!) at Bourbons Chocolate. I got a passion fruit white chocolate truffle, and she got a coffee
caramel truffle. They were delicious. After that we went to her favorite shoe store, Gimme Shoes, and we looked around - at the $500+ shoes. I think she's the only one who can afford

She felt hungry after we left the shoe store so we meandered our way back to the cafe that we parked in front of. We ate french onion soup and I got a caramel latte. It was good. We left, and she dropped me off in Japantown.

I had to pay this lady back at this tea shop down in the shopping center, but then I forgot that my aunt had my wallet in her bag. She wasn't far away, so she came right back and handed it to me, "phew". I then paid the lady back and went back to San Won, the Chinese place next to my dad's office. He was having dinner with some of his friends - one of whom was visiting from Chicago for a performance. They had all been in or at the show that happened at JCCCNC today. There's another one tomorrow. We went back to the center, and we bid our farewells.

I have been practicing clarinet for almost an hour, and I don't think I got too much better...better luck next time I suppose. I practiced piano for nearly an hour as well. I wonder where I'm getting this un-lazylike behavior.



Friday, May 2, 2008

Hmmm...bipolar much?

I think I have a bipolar disorder. I'm happy and hyper at one point, and then my mood falls like...walking off a cliff. Awesome simile right there. I think that recently I'm really depressed. I'm not sure what's wrong with me though...I think it's just that I have too much free time on my hands :p. I think that it seems like my friends are drifting away again - and what's sad is that I don't really care that much. I think that we're all getting bored of each other...(well at least of me, and me of them). I don't know them that well, but I know them too well. Living in a city like this is stressful.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

So, my cell broke

Life isn't the greatest thing at the moment. Although STAR Testing is finally over, I'm still stressed out for no reason. I think that I'm really self-conscious. Tomorrow we get to go to school at 12:55pm - which is really awesome! *sqwee*. I think I may call a few of my friends to have lunch. My phone isn't working. The vibrator is broken - as gross as it sounds...yeah, so I don't answer my phone that much because it's always on vibrate...yeah...I have bad hearing. I think that it broke when tons of sand got into it...oh well, it's my brother's phone anyway. The science wasn't difficult...but I didn't know a lot of it - and it wasn't my fault! I am positive that we didn't learn all the stuff on the test, because science is the one class that I actually do my work without copying...

The math wasn't difficult, but I couldn't help the feeling of competition with Greg who sits across from me. I think there's something wrong with him. I used to talk to him a lot in the beginning of the year, but then I think that he thinks I'm really weird, and a freak, so he ignores me most of the time. Not that I really want to talk to him in the first place, because he's really not the greatest conversationalist, but still - do you mind? I think he's in love with the other guy on our table - forgot his name. He's short and gangster-ish wannabe, black, and goofy. Greg always smiles when he's there. Greg also likes Sam, because it seems like he's always trying to find reasons to talk to her.

I talked to Adela and Sam today a lot, about nothing. We were just talking about different people, and being bitches...hmm. I never knew that Berry was such a slut! Haha, just one of many things I learned from the conversation. I had a paper airplane contest with Adela, and I totally OWNED! Yeah, mine went way better - always stay with the classic airplane model...it was a well thought out model, and that's why it's so classic.

I hung out with Kerin today at lunch, and she called me yesterday to confirm that I would hang out at lunch with her today - a bit strange, but I suppose that's just the kind of person she is...because she's called me before for really trivial reasons. I must watch my phone minutes, because recently my parents have been eying my(brothers) phone whenever it rings, as if challenging me to answer it. Sometimes they're more assertive and they tell me not to pick up the phone at all! I suppose for a just cause...

I was late this morning for homeroom because I had to wait in the line at Starbucks for 10 whole fucking minutes to order my tall peppermint latte. It took another five minutes for that to be made too! I wanted to yell at the nonchalant coffee people that "time is money, stop being so frickin' slow!" - or in this case, "time was my grade".

I am now in Japantown after being let out of French class early. I wandered around the school for a little bit with Kerin and Sal, but eventually Sal had to go back to wait for her friends, but I got on the bus with Kerin. She got off at 19th or 20th Ave. to go to Rite Aid. It was amusing, because while we were waiting for all the other people in my class to finish their tests, she was looking through a Rite Aid coupon magazine-paper-thing. I just have to tease her a bit and say, "You have already transformed into a Chinese lady". I wonder if that's racist on my part?

Ciaomein - over n'out

Edit: Oh, forgot to mention that I got the CAHSEE test scores back, and I passed - by the skin of my teeth! The passing percentage for English is 55% I believe, and for math it's 50% - I may be confusing them, but anyway, I got a 79% on English and 80% on math. Begeeguz, I need to study so I can get in the 90's, it'll make me feel proud. I'm a narcissist, shut up.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Something Special

Hmm, STAR Testing this week. Boring. I had to take naps in between passages for English. I must tell you that it feels gross to sleep on a biology table. It's all sticky and stuff. Quite unsettling. I've started to resume aol instant messaging - an old habit that I kicked long ago. Harry told me about Meebo.com, and now I'm just using day after day...(just yesterday and today). This is a stupid way to pass my time, but also a way to bond with old middle school friends who I don't see all the time.

The geometry portion of the test was pretty basic - if I had payed attention in class. I recognized a lot of stuff, but luckily nothing too difficult. I hate bubbling in tests, they're so borrrring! I turned in my science drawing with my readmit, and now I'm home free. I almost finished this book I started this afternoon. It's the second science fiction book I've read this week. I wonder what's come over me. It's based in the future, and global warming has, well, "warmed up", but then somehow, through depleting technology, humans managed to survive. And apparently the ozone is healing itself. There is still hope for mankind. Although in reality, I don't think so. I'm amazed I could even write that line in my blog. 

I was listening to Mr. Bush speak this morning on the radio. His voice is very understandable, he talks like he's lecturing a class of kindergartners. He blames Congress for everything, and he says he's doing all he [fucking] can to help the housing crisis. Verbatim: "I've sent many bills...to Congress...and they've consistantly...blocked me from every direction...(I wonder why)...If we drill in U.S. territories...it'll be environmental safe...(wtf)?" haha. It just gives you a taste of some useless cough syrup.

I want to move to prairie land, and read in the grass - without bugs, with a limitless amount of books...and a limitless supply of food...and a computer...haha. Well, let's pray to the Invisibles...

I didn't tell you about the Invisibles did I? Well, I just thought of it just now so...it's my new religion - for the time being. After you die, your spirit merely becomes invisible, and they are the ones who weave fate. They are kind of like the Three Fates of Greek mythology, but all dead people can weave your fate. You can have many fates, and a choice you make will guide you towards a certain "thread" and you will be caught in that Invisible's loom weave thing. Yeah. There might be a god, but I'm not sure I want to put that in. Oops, I mean there will be god's and goddesses. I ain't no feminist, but patriarchy has been allowed for too long.

There is still hope for mankind. 
Christina - does this count as being pessimistic or being extremely  cynical?


Monday, April 28, 2008

私は私の人生は非常に退屈で死ぬだろう! ---> 我的生命是如此沉闷,我会死!---> 내 인생은 너무 지루, 난 죽을거야! --->

I'm so bored! I need to figure out a way to pass time without feeling stupid. I think that when I buy my road bike I'll bike all over town to pass the time. I just finished the math test that I had to make up from Friday (when I was sick). During fifth period I looked at the problems and I was very stressed out, but then when I didn't finish and I came back after school to do it, it seemed more simple than before. I thought that it was pretty difficult, but there was a way to do it...

私の人生を取得する必要が...really now...

I was so pissed at my mom this morning, because it was her fault that I was late for school. It did, in a sense, ruin my day- but now I think my anger has simmered down a bit. I think that I will try and ignore her a little longer. Perhaps she'll feel guilty and buy me a popsicle! -.-


Anyway, I won't even be able to view this post on my computer, because all these characters will just be bolded little lines. Oh well.

I think that I'm starting to get annoyed 恼怒的 by some of the people in my classes...>.> *shifty eyes*. I think that I'm very irritable. It saddens me.



Sunday, April 27, 2008


I really want to start doing more crafts. How is it that I'm always uncertain, yet so confident at other times. Why must I always contradict myself? I get so angry and irritated at my mom, but I feel bad at the same time that the way
she is, is the way she is. My life is derived from hers, yet I get so irritated day after day, and I sometimes don't know how to deal with it besides slamming my fist into the door, or shouting at the top of my lungs. I suppose I'm pretty irresponsible in the sense that these are brief tantrums and I should be able to deal with things like this in an adult manner but...*sighs*.

Anyway, I made chocolate chip cupcakes and they're very bitter, but my brother and mom like them so I guess my taste buds are lacking in judgement skills. I didn't use self-rising flour, nor did I use fine sugar. Today I just stayed home and did nothing.

I talked to Harry on google chat for a while, but that was really just the peak of my interaction with other human beings. My grandpa tried to engage me in a little lecture, but I just ended up nodding and slowly inching my way out of the kitchen. He was telling me how my cousin Joy got a job even before she graduated and "that's the way it's suppose to be", you know the normal Chinese spiel. He also said that being and engineer was "steady" and "good", not as good as being a doctor (and that's verbatim). Apparently being a doctor requires you to be "loving" and "gentle", and you'll be able to a good doctor if you can do those things. I added as I walked out that you must be very smart too, and he heartily agreed.

I didn't leave my house at all today, I feel; like a sloth. If I had a a pedometer on today I probably would have seen that I walked less than 100 steps, when the normal "healthy" number of steps would be 10,000. How sad, I pity myself.

My aunt gave me these awesome boots from her aunt (my great-aunt), and there are three exact pairs in three different colors. They're knee high, and a little bit difficult to wear because my feet are larger than my aunt and great-aunts. Whatever, I'll break them in.

Yesterday I didn't post because I was so exhausted from hanging out with my aunt and volunteering with Perry and Jane. We didn't really do anything and really overall boring, but in the end we got a mass load free bagels, and many soda's. There was a lot of leftover food. I also got a free t-shirt. I don't even think that we were slacking off. I saw the some ROTC people volunteering from Wash- Pilot, Maten, Jaz...and their friends.

I really wanted to make ice cream today, but I was stuck at home all day, with no means of transportation. I wish that I could ride my bike across the freeway, or even better, that I had a sense of direction so I could bike to Bart.

Life sucks balls,

Friday, April 25, 2008

Negative: FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck...etc

Oh my fuckin' god! I didn't wake up this morning, and I just woke up...and it's a Friday. AND it's the last day of the grading period, and I didn't turn in my fucking math assignment homework sheet. He can't count my homework then, and I'll get an F, and if I'm lucky a D-. I'm going to go try and see if he's still at school and bring the sheet. I'm crossing my fingers.


Thursday, April 24, 2008

In the Crapper

I find it a bit pathetic for me to write a blog entry at school...right after school...in the school library. I know what you're thinking- shut up. So today was uneventful. I woke up, and my dad wasn't here, because he went to LA yesterday morning. My mom, being the person she is, made me late. Although I say this, it was also my fault. I woke up and did all the morning shit and then I tried to find something to eat, but there was nothing so I began to eat some shit that I found in a plastic bag. I basically only ate dried mangos. Despite the fact that I was late for school, I was pretty impressed with the haste "awakening". She normally slaps me, but today she just yelled at me at shoved me.

We had to run in P.E. today, and it sucked. I was late so I didn't have any time to dress, but I still needed a running grade so I had to run in my JEANS that were falling off my ass, for a ¾ of a fucking mile! I don’t sweat while I’m running, it’s when my heart catches up to me I begin to sweat profusely. Whatever I did pretty well if I do say so myself- I ‘passed’.

I’m still reading my book (The Dark Fields) and it’s pretty good, but it’s getting sort of boring. When I take too long to read a book I get sort of tired of the whole concept of the plot, I think I’ll finish the book today though- I only have about 20 pages left to read.

I feel like eating raw snap peas right now.

I need to start reading the other book that I borrowed from the library called “The Black Mirror”, I thought the plot wasn’t mediocre, but not anything too extraordinary either. The only real reason I got the book is because I thought that the girl on the cover was Asian…which she isn’t [I later found out], I know I racially based that, but it wasn’t in any way “racist”. I think it’s just unusually for the protagonist to be Asian in teen books that I’m partially interested in reading.

Perry reminded me that I signed up to volunteer with her and Jane on Saturday. My mom was making these plans to go watch my bro’s lacrosse game in Napa, but I suppose those plans will fall through… Apparently I need to get to Fort Mason at 7am and then we’ll be able to leave at 4pm. It’s fine, because it was me who actually signed up and decided I wanted to do the “March of Dimes”.

School was always boring (excluding 6th grade), but right now it’s the most monotonous thing that I’ve ever experienced besides the time that I tried to analyze patterns in stock fluctuations in the newspaper…which was futile by the way. I don’t know how to liven my life up. Anime and manga plugged the void quite well, until I watched, and read everything that I was interested in. I suppose that now I’ll try books.

Internet programming is so boring, but I really want to learn. Learning and mastering are two different things (obviously). I would do many things, but there are two things that stand in the way: 1. Procrastination, 2. Boredom. I’ve tried many things, but I get bored VERY easily. Doctors and psychologists have considered that I might have ADHD, but I was never really tested.

I have a philosophical question for ya’: DO AMERICANS DESERVE FREEDOM?

Maybe I’ll reflect in my random thoughts blog later.


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Choppy Bologna Mash

Hey Bitches! *winks grossly*

I have begun to do pointless webvlogs on YouTube, but to tell the truth, it is quite
entertaining to talk to the camera in the computer. In a way it's soothing- like a therapist that doesn't talk, and I can also check to see if there's anything in my teeth. My most recent vlog is about global warming (click on it to watch).
So I got the press release for my eco-friendly club, and I'm starting to gradually realize that climate change is going to kill us all.
I have a myriad of reasons to pick up the trash in my yard now (not that I have recently...)

I talked a lot today. And I feel disliked, because when you talk to a human being and
they act like a wall, it is quite refreshing, but you don't exactly feel like they're listening to you. Disconcerting as is is, I just talk because I like the sound of my
voice (I guess...?),
I can talk and talk...there is a limitless number of thing I can talk about without getting bored.
My friend thought I was crazy yesterday because I was talking to myself on a piece
of paper...for fun...in College and Career. It was quite humorous as I showed her
the conversation. She asked me if I was "okay" in the head, and I laughed and then I helped her with her algebra homework.

Speaking of helping people with their work...yesterday, when I was at the library
(so what?), this Spanish-accented person asked me for help with her English homework.
I feel most remorseful in the sense that I probably did not do her homework justice. Gah, I must've just made it worse... It was ELL homework too. I was never good at English. The only reason that my writing is relatively coherent, is because I read books...and I have an OCD regarding horrible grammar...and many other things related to language.
I think that not only
do I enjoy the sound of my own voice, I enjoy the way that my typed words look on the computer. I know I a freak, don't remind me, it just eggs me on.

I wonder if I could get free chocolate at Costco...


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Library...once again...no life...

I'm at the library again. There's really no report for the day. I found tons of YoYo Ma CD's here, but I can't find my wallet, so I'm wondering what I'm going to do... We had to run a mile today and it sucked- so I walked and sprinted as per usual. I got this book the other day (Tuesday) and I started reading last night, I just finished it several hours ago. Anyway, I've been reading it on and off at school...in the hall...during class...etc. So I'm not sure how many pages it was but it was pretty short because it was double spaced. The book was pretty awesome.

Check it out: H.I.V.E. by Mark Walden. I'm going to go and try to find the sequel. The writing style takes a little time to adjust, because it's bit simple-ish in the beginning, but I think it was a very exciting and adrenaline filled book.

We had a French test today and it was dreadful...I wont write the details now but...yeah, it was painfully bad. I haven't looked through my French book in months so I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. There was a science test today too- in tandem with my French test (switch the order). I think that I did relatively well, but I know I fucked up quite a few of the questions. Geometry wasn't too bad, I actually did some work *gasp*! One second, the computers going to shut down on me. OK I'm back.

I'm still in the eco-friendly club, and I still have no idea why. I am firmly against the belief that global warming exists...well at least the "warming" part. I just feel like it's just a random Apocalypse theory. I wanted to hang out with Christina today when I forgot that I had club...=( I really have this urge to knit but I lost my needles...I either have to find them or buy new ones. I actually was thinking of getting fatter ones, I want to make a scarf with fat yarn (it's faster that way xD). My mom said she'll help me make a messanger bag, I hope she keeps her word...

I wanted these vintage boots from Etsy.com and they were awesome and my mom and dad agreed to buy them for me, but then they said no after looking at them again. Apparently it's because they don't want me using used shoes. Damn them, they are the awesomist boots that I've ever seen in my life. My mom picked me up 30 minutes late today from school. Since we got out at 12:40 today, I expected her to be on time- but was she? Of course not! After that she took me for tea at this expensive tea place, but she kept on reminding me that my manners sucked. Whatever. The tea was pretty good. One pot of tea was eight bucks, and I find that ridiculous, and said so, but my mom shushed me. Gah. I had basmati rice and masala sauce with tofu. It was okay, but too bland and sweet.

"Wine red...this is the death of beauty..."


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Tooth-related Problems and Algebra

I took the algebra placement exam for Advanced Algebra Honors- I totally bombed it. There were 50 questions, and I am only confident of answering around half of them right. The rest of it was just guessing...*cough* I mean guesstimation of course... I almost forgot about extemp practice after the test and I almost went with Perry to Quickly's...thank god the color of the bathroom door was similar to Mr. Leungs shirt...

Extemp practice was 'so-so', we got partners and I was paired with Richard...the weird Richard- erm, wait, they're both weird. I guess I can describe him as the one who doesn't have the afro... Anyway, we didn't do much, I stupidly said that I knew more about Pakistan than any other
international country (which is true but...). The fact of the matter is, that I haven't been keeping up with Pakistan's government lately- first of all, it's too complicated, second of all, I am lazy. I have to formulate/memorize-ish my speech by next Wednesday! After we bumped around and solidified our three key points, we went to this old lady's house and took some old Economist, Newsweek, and other collections of magazines that she had posted on Craigslist for free... Weird thing is, that she lived several houses down from the school! Then we went home.

My mom picked me up and gave me pasta, I slept in the car and then I read a book. She dropped me off at home and then went to a meeting. I watched the rest of disc 1 of Numb3rs season 3. Shut up, I know I'm a geek. I then just played games...I have to 
study for my science test and french test now.  

ciao baby ciao!
Lito Abe

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Slow Minded Lazybug

I feel like the whole day was wasted on reading. I was reading this book called , "PS, I Love You" and it's quite a moving book. Although I haven't lost someone who was really really close to me, I can kind of relate to her feelings. I'm always just sleeping around, being messy, and doing nothing. How am I suppose to live my life like this. Sure, becoming aware of my country is interesting, but I now I feel like being so informed is making me incredibly pessimistic of the future. International politics is good, but I have mixed feelings about our international policy. There are several ways that we could help third-world countries, that we aren't doing at this very moment, but there are also many ways we can stop helping a few countries because we really aren't really helping them...

We leave a ginormous country to starve but we care oh so much about how badIraq's doing right now...anyway gotta go to bed!


Monday, April 14, 2008

Cold Sore Cold Shmore...

I'm getting sick, and it ain't pretty. My hair is a mess from sleeping in the car, and I think that people looked at me funny while I slept in the car near the entrance of the library. I am once again at the wonderful library. I bought this coffee from the espresso machine, and it was SO sweet, and sweet as in the sugary sweet, not the gangsterish originated term...

Today was mediocre, but not horrible. I trudged through the day with little optimism... I decided in English (4*) that I would draw (colored) caricatures of people for money. No one bought any from me, but being the loser that I am- I gave them the thing anyway. I bet they through it out afterwards, but who gives a shit anyway? The hard, backbreaking labor of a lonely and pessimistic artist is worth nothing to those ignorant people who wouldn't know a Picasso from a kindergartens’ drawing (A/N: I don't know either). Lunch was pretty lonesome, because it seems like Ms. Jacobs is evading/avoiding me. I couldn't find Perry & Donut at lunch because neither of them had phones on them. I went to the library (again) and played hobowars. I also eavesdropped on this convorsation between a half-retarded Asian kid and the lunch librarian. The conversation is as follows:
Half-retarded Asian Kid: Can I restart this computer?
Lunch Librarian: No, just go to a different computer.
Half-retarded Asian Kid: but...this computers so slow! You need to restart the computer in order to clear the (blahblahblah- probably something about RAM).
Lunch Librarian: N0, you don't need to do that- these computers are slow at school!
Half-retarded Asian Kid: But I want to restart it-Lunch Librarian: No- the computers here are slow, just like everything else in this school.
Half-retarded Asian Kid: You can restart the computer and it will-
Lunch Librarian: Honey, I'm telling you that the computers are slow in here. (She's starting to sound a bit irritated and hostile.
This goes on, and it get's boring, but you can get the idea. I think that the lack of content in this conversation represents that both of these people aren't very intelligent, and they obviously don't know how to have a comprehensive conversation. Neither party knew how to listen! That woman was a teacher! Gah, it just irritates me , because it seems like this happens often.

I was turning in my application for the other day for City College for Teens when the woman who was working there was talking on the phone to a girl who was inquiring about the very program that I was applying to. Her conversation seemed at a decent "informative" level, but then she started repeating the same thing over and over and again. Either the other party was completely not listening or, they just are retarted. The lady she was talking to was a mother too! I'm just always surprised at the level of comprehension of most adults! Sorry- just another part of my OCD coming on.

There is this march called March of Dimes, and Perry and Donut are doing it so they asked me if I wanted to apply. They went to TestMagic to fax the application over, but the fax didn't seem to work? She just make-shiftily put my name on her application form. Hopefully it'll work out. We got a tapioca drink at Quickly's and Perry and Donut teased this guy Daniel a lot about being a FOB. We then left and went to eat Pho. The pho was good and it was split between the three of us- $2 each- not half bad. My mom picked me up and dropped Perry and Donut off at their houses, which were a couple blocks away...-.- lazy bums.

I think that days like these frustrate me a lot because it just reminds me of how boring my life is. I was also looking over the Obama plan's for issues. Although in the past I was saying that I didn't like Obama, his plans are pretty darn solid, not to mention the "morally correct" side of it too. If I talk about my conservative views on the bus I get stink-eyes. Sometimes it sucks to live in SF.

Honestly but not my heart-

(That was lame wasn't it?)

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Hong Kong Flower's Non-HK style food

Today is my brother and dad's Birthday, and unfortunately I didn't have the opportunity to get them a present in time- but my mom probably got something for the both of us. I know- I am very thoughtful. I'm at the library right now and the computer is threatening to shut down before I finish this post. I took a typing test last week and it said that my typing speed is almost 77 words per minute. Well, at least that's my personal best. Crap, I keep on having to type and then erase very quickly.

Anyway, today was boring. I finished this awesome anime series called "Okkiku Fukikabutte" and the ending was a bit dissapointing, but all in all a decent anime. A couple of complaints: man friendship is beautiful, but do they really need to emphasize it that much? I thought that I was watching a shounen-ai anime sometimes. The baseball tactics were pretty good though, and the coach was a strong woman. I have two more minutes left on this comp. Later I found this new manga on Onemanga.com. It's called "666 Satan" I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but the summary looks promising.

---cut off by computer---

Hey, so anyway not much more to post today. I found out that there is much more to hacking than what meets the eye. It's so much trouble, I don't know if I want to try and become a computer geek this summer anymore...Seeing as I'm an incredibly lazy human being. Apathy is threatening to take over!

It wasn't as hot today- thank the lord, or whoever out there who told the Heatman to turn it down. Guess what? The library has brand new issues of "The Economist"! It's a seven day rent thingy.

That just about raps it up..Oh- don't be sad or depressed today! Right now I deem this Sunday April 13 as the "Antidepressed Day". If you are depressed- you die!


Saturday, April 12, 2008

"Fuck you" is something that I would say to the Heatman (the guy who brings heat to the Bay Area- duh!)

It's so hot, it makes you wanna "strip! strip! strip".

Yeah, well the volunteering thing with Sal's over, and truthfully, it was a huge disappointment for Sal and I. We didn't do anything at all. Basically Sal was expecting menial labor type work, but all she did was check off names when people came in. She was so obsessed with doing something, that she did all the work
there was to be done- without me being able to do anything =(. In other words, a bit of a "ball-hog" but in this context "work-hog". Whatever. We hung out a little while afterwards. I went to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and got this blueberry pomegranate thingy, and then we went  to Forever 21. We parted after that. 

I went to Borders and read manga. My dad and bro met me there and they gave me a piece of salmon. It was good, but the kimchee sucked. We went around afterwards trying to find a treat, and I saw this soft-serve ice cream self-serve place, but there was samples and it tasted like old milk. 
Finally we just decided to go to
Beard Papa's! and I got a $2.25 cream puff. I observed that they sold green tea in a bottle for $2.75, when 
you can get the exact same
thing in Japan town for $1. Oh, how they rip up off *pleasant face*. We went home after that, and I slept in the car with the oh-so-sweet air conditioning...but now that I am in my house, it is so fucking humid in here, and yeah. Heat makes me bitchy.

Oh, and I broke my vegetarian thing for good. I ate a beef stick from the Cherry blossom festival. It's pointless to keep this up anymore. Ahh! And tomorrow's my dad and brothers birthday, must remember to get them a present tonight or make them something.
It kind of sucks for my dad because his car broke down earlier and we had to pay a hundred buckaroo's to get a new battery. It all turned out fine or whatever.

Yours fucking truly,

Friday, April 11, 2008

*Yawns* Uber Tired

I slept for almost three hours in the car. Gah lee. I still feel tired, so I'm going to go to sleep in about an hour. I'm volunteering with Sal tomorrow at the Women's film festival, and I don't want to be yawning the entire time. I'm hungry and tired- what a combination.

I say this every day, so it must mean somethin', but...I'm losing confidence in my friends to keep, well- confidentiality. I tell someone something, and I expect that the insults and back-talking would be kept to themselves. Obviously we don't have a mutual understanding. I really need to find a friend who is a loner and who hates talking- then I can talk to them without the worry of it getting out. Sometimes my friend irritates me. Harry kept saying that Perry was annoying yesterday because of the Dinosaur incident that Perry did for a joke. I sort of felt that 'annoying-ness' today.

All my classes were decent. The only thing is that I thought that I wouldn't be able to turn in certain assignments, but at the last minute the teacher pushed back the due date. This happened in both my science class AND my English class.

Geometry class was okay, Cinderella is always amusing, as well as the stuck-up Mighty Giselle. Christina seemed to be in a better mood too- it must've been the burrito. I know it! Baker wasn't so happy though, a bit pissed off-ish to me. Hey- I would be too if I was a newbie teach' and I had these non-honors classes with delinquents are the occasional smart-alec Asian (MightyG). 

The algebra test is next week on Wednesday. Must study.

In Career I read a book and then talked with Andy, Nathan, Justin, and Jane about...how Andy wasn't to be messed with? Haha. Something about virus's and hacks, and the "POSTCARD" email virus that is international. Apparently, Andy's friends made it...(which is not very believable of course, but we always take his bull). We ended school by going outside to look at the MADD car exhibit outside our school. It was a Mercedes-Benz that was crushed from drunk driving. If I was in the back seat I would survive, but the seat belt in the front seat would do N-U-T-I-N-G!

I hung out with Donut after school for a bit, because I wanted to stalk Perry with her date from SI that she met at NFL LD. We lost her after a while, but I got an awesome mango tapioca smoothie. I was talking to Donut, and miraculously Perry got word of something I said about her. 0.0, is she psychic? I don't Stink So! Cuz' yeah, a bit irritated by that.

I went to J-town and got a mango shaved ice, but unknown to me, I had dropped my money along the way, so I didn't have enough cash to pay for it. The nice Japanese lady said I could just bring the money some other time. After that we left Japan-town. I slept for several hours, and currently I am writing this blog post.

I'm also reading this book I randomly picked out at the library last night. It's not too bad, it's called "Scorpia" by Anthony Horowitz. Apparently this book is a series, and my brother reads it...as well as Calvin, some strange dude who sits in front of me in Career. He kept staring at my book while I was reading it. Peculiar man, he is.

Copy That,

Thursday, April 10, 2008

What is Smart

Guess what? "What Abe?" I did my homework. *gasps in horror and astonishment*.
So I just got back from my favorite library and honestly, it just feels great. I got all of my math homework done, and most of my science. Great progress here considering that I don't normally open my backpack when I get home (excluding the extraction of my lunchbox).

I think that I should start studying for the PSAT's soon- the library has a wonderful selection of brand new test prep books! Shut up, I know I'm a freak. It's hard to type this post while simultaneously talking to Perry on the phone...

Anyway, today I saw the school musical, because today is the cheapest day to go. I met Harry somewhere along the way after I waited nearly an hour for Ms. Jacobs who didn't show up at her office! I've been waiting for her twice a day! 

The musical was pretty good, the leads were very good. Whenever this one guy is in a play, it always turns out that he kisses someone! I hung out with Harry before
for a couple hours in the bleachers above the football field. Prior to that we got
kicked out of the Props room... The girl was a bit snobby, but that's just because I'm bitchy about getting kicked out- we really weren't suppose to be there.

Later on I got these cilantro dumplings, and they were awesome, because they had water chestnuts in them. I want to be a math nerd, but it's too much trouble.
Gotta practice piano now.


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Coffee and Poo-colored Geometry book

I spilled almost 8 ounces of my caramel latte on my geometry book. I'm fucked. It was good too! Hopefully it'll work out with the teach'. Not the greatest day, but not the worst...

Fafafafafafa! We played 'ultimate football' in P.E. today- supposedly a variation of 'ultimate Frisbee'. It wasn't fun, the football was too tiny and soft. I did a lot of my homework at the library, then went to Starbucks where the incident happened.

I'm becoming very skeptical about the people who hang around me. One's a liar, and the other's too passive. Other friends are cool, but very un-entertaining...not that I want to have "wild" friends *cough*. I'm lazy so yeah, I don't wanna write anymore.


Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Blackout and the 1906

I almost blacked out in Borders, but thankfully I woke up by falling on a solid bookcase (it was fastened on the wall...), amazing, it's like from a book! So yeah, it must be the lack of food- or lack of nutritious food... I ate half a microwaved potato and a Kimchi Bowl Noodle
(unhealthy but mmm..)

ANYWAY, today was a pretty good day. The test in geometry was 'so-so' I was dumb
and didn't study the properties of quadrilaterals, so the first side was fucked...but on the other side- the calculations part- I'm sure I did proficiently =p. English was pretty good, well except for the fact that Ms. Contreras seemed to be scrutinizing my every movement whenever
she has the chance...also the conversation with my friend-ish people was...how do I say it- very...perverted to say the least. Lunch was *cough*...yeah, I hung out with Perry and Jane- if you know them, 
well, you know
how that goes... I managed to have a brisk on-the-spot appointment with Ms. Huddleston, and she was surprisingly civil. She signed my paper,
and- wait
for it....SMILED! Wow, a great feat for her.

Career Ed is pretty boring- but I got to get in some dirty jokes with Elaine (that's her real name btw). She hated them, and her cool demeanor was a bit dismantled. She is awesome. My brothers friends prank called me, and it was really funny, because they didn't block the I.D. They told me I had a man-voice when I pretended to be someone else. So much for that. Another one of Ken's friends called me on the bus, but I redirected him. I suppose these are just the consequences of using your lil' bro's cell.

There was a traffic jam with the bus, and I was on there for over an hour.
I finally got downtown and turned in the form for College for Teens without problems.
Then I went to Borders and read manga.

PS: In the title when I say "1906" that's referring to the video I watched in science class.

Over and out-


Monday, April 7, 2008


I was sick all day. Slept till noon. Called friends to get homework- not much. Math test tomorrow, must study. Life's a bitch. Ciao- littleleaf

Friday, April 4, 2008

Puff Daddy's in Da HOUSE! What does that mean anyway?

It's late, so I'm posting this- it's going to show up as tomorrow, but this post is about yesterday...gah this is confusing! Anyways, this is a post for the following:

April 4, 2008

Today was a pretty darn decent day. I got to school "relatively" on time- in other words, I got into the locker room without a... need to bang on the doors. Gym was boring, but I remembered to bring my gym clothes home! Awesomeness! They smelled like shit anyways (I don't want to say how long I haven't washed them for- but it's a disgusting number). I made quite a few long shots (in basketball), glorious moments...oh the nostalgia. In second period, we did notes, and it was easy (as per usual). Crap, I've just noticed that I use parenthesis a a lot- got to break that habit.

In third period, we actually "kinda" did work! *gasps*, well to say that we did work is an overstatement considering that we went to the computer lab and were instructed to research a French country. Needless to say...I played hobowars the whole time while memorizing part of this hilariously ridiculous rap that I found online. I tried rapping to anyone who was listening- thankfully they didn't want to waste their tomato's on me.
I shall post a part of it here: Juggalo
                       what is a juggalo you ask?
                    let me think for a second
                   oh, he get's butt-naked
                      he walks through the street
                   winking at the freaks
                        with a two-liter stuck in his butt-cheeks

Are you laughing yet?


In fourth period, Ms. Contreras went with me to talk to Ms. Jacobs- the English Dept. Head. She was a bit spacey, but all in all, an amiable woman. Ms. Contreras favors me now- at least I think... Sher is being nicer to me recently...odd. We just did Lit terms in English, so nothing eventful happened. I actually didn't get a chance to talk with Rosy or Katrina...

Lunch was so tedious! I was mad because I had misread this sheet that I was suppose to turn in today, but I left it at home because I thought it didn't apply to me. Now I have to take a chance and get it in on Monday- I hope the spaces don't fill up for Expository writing. Although my counselor told me that those classes don't fill up that quickly. I believe that it's a three hour class every day for a month. Yikes! I'm participating in this because I would like to further my skills in writing factual reports etc. Perry is doing it with me. I don't know if she realizes that it's going to be a big commitment. I don't think I realize it either.

I spent the whole period in the counseling office trying to talk to Ms. Huddleston, but she was in an important meeting with these serious looking fat ladies. Perry cried because Kennedy yelled at her, but then Cozak signed it for her and she was all happy again. I think that today was a difficult day for Perry, but in the end she got was she wanted and
was "happy and shiny again" (quote by Harry). She also lost some important thingy for science, and she dragged me around the school 
after school had already ended, but then I had the chance to talk to Mr. Shinamoto (is that his name?) the science dept. Head, and he told me that I had to write a really good letter to the dept. about why they should accept me. I'm going to work on that with my dad later, because he's good at writing proposals (it's his job so...).

*pauses and goes the bathroom* Did you really need to know that? Haha...yeah...not funny.

I'm trying to remember what I did after that...oh yeah! So I went down to the market on (38th?) planning to buy mango's, but they didn't have any, so I bought a nectarine and a ice cream stick. The ice cream stick was good (it was oreo..) but the nectarine that smelled so wonderful- was crap. I ate it, but it was really fibery, and not good tasting.

When I got to the bus stop for the 38, I had to run to catch it. The bus was empty for the most part, but when we got to Roosavelt, the bus was filled with tiny people, and I saw my friend get on (she was at clement st.), we talked to her and complained about this guy who we know (haha), then she got off. The bus was "kinda" crowded, but not so much that I couldn't squeeze out. I was reading the Economist, which I had snatched from the Props room earlier. It was nice because it was shorter than usual (100pg's I think?).

Then we got to Masonic, and TONS AND TONS of people got on. Wallenburgers and little people alike. It was like a freakin' raid! And then I saw my long lost friend Eli. We talked about fanfiction and I gave her friend (who looks and acts like Sara strangely- who is/was Eli's best friend) a high five, for a reason that I don't remember. I got her cell #, and promised to call. I will...someday. I had to squeeze out of the 38, and I got off earlier, because more people would 
get on, it would be even more unbearable. I went to Nijiya and decided to try their seasoned okara, but it was too salty- Super Mira's is really the best kind... I bought a natto-maki too, and I ate it while walking up to my dad's office- people stared at me in disgust, it was really good though. The wind was blowing so my hair got gross.

I have this history with Super Mira. Their manager hates me for, a reason...not to be mentioned on this blog. I finally had the balls to go in, and I bought cheap candy without incident. I went back to my dad's office, and we went home. I think that I just slept, then went into the house, and slept...until 11 something.



PS: I just noticed that April 4th is what everyone pronounces my alias! It's really Aberforthe, but people pronounce it "April forf", haha...g'night