Thursday, September 25, 2008

heavy heart

All the time I feel like my heart is going to fall out. It strains for some reason...heavy heart - a literal phrase I suppose.

I have begun to feel like life is just meaningless, I used to find salvation in certain things but recently they have become less entertaining. It may be silly for me to get depressed at being bored, but there you have it.

When I review what I did in a day, it substantiates to nothing. I feel like the whole day was wasted. Wait a second though, what would I have done instead of that? there is nothing that I could have done. My life is destined to be worthless.

If I could do something - anything that would tremor the world to the extent that I felt it was significant maybe this feeling would disappear.

My morals have begun to falter as I learn more and more about human nature and the suffering of the world.

This author of Chinese history in America committed suicide. Supposedly because the history she delved into was so depressing and horrible that she lost her will to live.

I sincerely hope that does not happen to me. lol, like that would happen.

I can't differentiate what I think is right and wrong anymore.

Kill one save a million.

What the fuck?

Kill a million save one.

What the fuck?

Why do we have to kill anyone at all.

interfere in someones business to keep our minds and consciences sound

fuck it up

it's like leaving a man about to jump off the bridge alone
it's not your business, but honestly would you be able to walk away?

Let them do what they want - it's not their business

I have no idea what to think anymore

hitler was evil but...


it would be justifiable to torture him with utter cruelty until he begged to be murdered?

it would be justifiable to leave him in solitary confinement forever?
-what chance did he leave the jews?


random bullshit that didn't make sense

srri i'm just trying to sort myself out

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