Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Since I wrote my report so late I made a fatal error on it.

Oh well.

I am really having trouble in my life. Many things are trivial, but I can't manage to step up to plate and i make it even more difficult for people when I delay. I hate it when people dislike me because it's uncomfortable, but then they end up disliking me more when I draw things out. I have no idea what I am going to do, I was considering going for counseling in the wellness center. It's ridiculous because the things that bother me really should not be bothering me. It must be a chemical, genetic thing.

-the depressed hog

All Nighter Idiot

As you can see it is 3:35 am

I was watching drama's until about an hour ago when I remembered I had a lab report due tomorrow (today).

I'm just being an idiot.

Not I have to do a French poster real quick.

I have a beautiful life don't I?


Thursday, September 25, 2008

heavy heart

All the time I feel like my heart is going to fall out. It strains for some reason...heavy heart - a literal phrase I suppose.

I have begun to feel like life is just meaningless, I used to find salvation in certain things but recently they have become less entertaining. It may be silly for me to get depressed at being bored, but there you have it.

When I review what I did in a day, it substantiates to nothing. I feel like the whole day was wasted. Wait a second though, what would I have done instead of that? there is nothing that I could have done. My life is destined to be worthless.

If I could do something - anything that would tremor the world to the extent that I felt it was significant maybe this feeling would disappear.

My morals have begun to falter as I learn more and more about human nature and the suffering of the world.

This author of Chinese history in America committed suicide. Supposedly because the history she delved into was so depressing and horrible that she lost her will to live.

I sincerely hope that does not happen to me. lol, like that would happen.

I can't differentiate what I think is right and wrong anymore.

Kill one save a million.

What the fuck?

Kill a million save one.

What the fuck?

Why do we have to kill anyone at all.

interfere in someones business to keep our minds and consciences sound

fuck it up

it's like leaving a man about to jump off the bridge alone
it's not your business, but honestly would you be able to walk away?

Let them do what they want - it's not their business

I have no idea what to think anymore

hitler was evil but...


it would be justifiable to torture him with utter cruelty until he begged to be murdered?

it would be justifiable to leave him in solitary confinement forever?
-what chance did he leave the jews?


random bullshit that didn't make sense

srri i'm just trying to sort myself out

Monday, September 22, 2008


hmmm, i'm feeling pretty emo right now.

love is such an interesting thing lol

i feel cliche

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Shedding the Corporates

We should all get naked and celebrate our liberation from the corporate influence.

I don't feel like explaining but think long and hard and I believe that you will see my brilliant fantastical logic.

So my life is a mess, but oddly enough, I don't feel as stressed out as I want to be. Maybe if I was stressed out I wouldn't be wasting my fuckin' time on my blog and ranting.

I joined Eagle News but I'll be forced to quit tomorrow because Propster said I'll be off the team if I don't get a story in...and guess what? I don't have a story so *boom chakalaka boom* I'm gone. Whatever, they don't even have a meteorologist (rainMAN)position ANYWAY! (which was what I was aiming for obviously...)

Maybe I'll see if I can be an editor, because I actually want to vasti-fy my knowledge on video editing. It is a skill that would be good for me to perfectomundo. Actually, my GPA might be under 2.5 which is fucking hilarious because omg, I'm going to be fuckin slaughtered by the fucking system - but then again that's just an excuse. I'm just a fuckin bullshitter. I hope I can stay on the debate team because that is my refuge...

I was reading this article on stem-cell research today at Borders and it is a very interesting concept and I can't distinguish my position on it. I don't know if I want to support Stem-cell research when they are basically killing potential beings, or to support it because it will save people who are already alive in this world (especially since my dad could be cured if the research was successful). I'm leaning more to the latter.

I wonder if I'm a selfish bitch to think badly of people when I'm talking to people.

I suppose it doesn't matter as long as we're both having fun...
-...it's not as if I'm saying it out loud (white lies are harmless right? *wink wink*)

oooh quote of the day...

“They’re twins,”
Nader continued.
“If you look at their economic policies, other than taxes and so on … they’ll curtsy to the, quote, prestige of the Treasury.”

uhh to give some context...he's talking about Obama and McCain *teehee*

I saw this really cute sweater and vest at H&M today. Gaaaaah *struggling I try to walk away from the big corporate doors of cheap-laboring H&M store but the red lights are too bright, too tempting, I am losing to them..."how could I? I betrayed them all"...still struggles with last of strength...get's sucked into the H&M vortex "I am sincerely sorry to y'all peeps who believed in me...sorry for the betrayal...it-was-just-too-tempting!"*

ciaomein babies

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A Cool Quote

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

I agree yet disagree. For all it's worth, it is clever indeed.

-The leaf

Edit: Another quote I found while browsing Facebook quotes!
Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. - Ralph Charell

"The Kingdom of God is not a democracy" - Chariots of Fire

Friday, September 12, 2008

Ralph is pretty chill

Ralph Nader has many policies that I agree with. Overall I think he is much less generic and label-y than the other two (especially obama *ah-hem*)

the only thing i disagree with is affirmative action, elimination of nuclear power sources and some other...trivial??? things *ah-hem*

i will be writing an article thingy on a political spread for the newspaper due to come out on my birthday 0cto sixo - wait for it my fellow athenians


Sunday, September 7, 2008


I couldn't find a document hosting thing so...even though probably no one will look at this...

Presentation Outline
Christine, Serena, Christina, Megumi

Presentation (3-5 minutes)
I. Introduction
A. Introduce members of group: e.g. “Hello everyone, my name is [First Name and Last Name] - to my right is Serena - that is Christina….etc.
B. “The summer reading book we used for this project is “Coffee Will Make You Black” by April Sinclair. We thought that the main theme of this book centered on the growth of Jean in the sense of her personality and maturity - in the midst of the civil rights movement. “
C. “We thought that chapter 16, although simple, significantly demonstrates her personal “change”.”
D. “I’m not sure if you noticed this awesome artwork done by Christina[indicating Afro-Jean] but we thought that this was a way to express this chapter in a more conceptual fashion because..(Whatever you want to say, possibly something about how she gets the afro for rebelling against her mother, and the whole Charisma society – or it could be mentioned later…whatever…aha). “
II. Body
A. “Each of us chose a particular quote that we thought would adequately represent the different components of this chapter”.
Note: Order/assignment is subject to change.
1. Serena:
-“blahblahblah…I think this quote was important because….”
2. Christina:
-“blahblahblah…I chose this quote because I felt it demonstrated…”
3. Christine:
-“blahblahblah…this is a follow-up quote to [person who did quote above], because it shows how they wanted to conform as close to Caucasian society as they could…blahblah..”
4. Megumi:
- “blahblahblah…We all thought that this was a good concluding quote because in Jeans mind, the idea finally settled that she didn’t want to be like Terry or her mother – I think that she was beginning to realize that she wanted to be herself.
III. Conclusion
A. So this book portrayed the maturity of an intelligent girl following her growth from childhood to adulthood. Her hardships, misunderstandings, discovery, decision-making, and self-understanding.

Try to get the audience to understand key concepts of book:
- Personal growth
- Self-acceptance
- Realizing that people change and people won’t stay the same forever
- She can be whoever she wants to be and doesn’t need to follow the herd of schmucks.

oops looks a bit funky. oh well. don't complain just fuck urself...jk >.>

all this is five minutes? *gasp*

i hate naturally smart people

they make me feel bad about my personal incompetence. chinese people for example. they don't need to study for tests because they know everything. oops. generalization there. i meant, most chinese people. most boys with glasses. sorry guys. stereotypes are all i got.

i wish i was naturally smart. unfortunately i think i got the stupid gene when they handed them out on the chinese side.