Three Hours

How am I gonna get all this work done? I bombed my quiz today.

Anyways, I need to find a good costume for Friday!

Grrr...

-Lit

ZzZZZzZZzzZZZz

I was soooo tired today after school. I was okay until BAM the stupid sleepiness hit me and yeah. I was a walking zombie. I fell asleep on one of the big chairs in starbucks for a couple of hours, and I'm surprised no one tried to kick me out lol.

I need to write congress speeches and get notes from someone who went to the jam yesterday.
I also need to send my new draft to the Sterprop because...yeh. Anyway, I need to add a quote from Amaral (i don't know her first name and that is a problemo). I also need to add an 'update' it's hard to update already written works. If I have time I also would like to make index cards with major events because I am behind at the momento...

-Littleleafer

oh ma gah

i don't know how things end up this way...wait...i do...stupid procrastination (oops i should hate the [wo]man (myself) not the game...)

i have three projects due, none of which i have started. wait - why am i blogging again?

still must do french play, mw report thing, english thing, AND i have to write a corrected draft of my milk article.

so much for a life.

actually there was a halloween partay at my church and it was boring in the beginning but then i used the face makeup they had and, yeah, fun. i also gave Hito a two face makeover (mwahaha it looks funny) at the end it was fun because i talked to matt and hito. my game was stupid but w.e.

the debate

fuck

failure

funless

all the f words i could use to describe today's speech tourny

5-5-5 worst score possible

oh well, all good exp.

and there were a lot of hot guys there

>.<

shop till ya drop - literally

six hours. i barely sat down. i hardly bought anything. me feet are swollen. i almost bought $88 dollar shoes. debate tm ciao

urgish

I just got home from speech and I was soooo fucked.
grr i have a tournament on Saturday too! >.<

I need to do more prep...

Shiit I have so much homework I am drowning!

Today I just curled up and died. For the past two days I have been one of the undead. Normally I can handle 3 hours of sleep or less with my trustee friend coffee, but I woke up so late today that i missed firsto periodo for the first time this year!

I had two tests today, both after lunch and I bombed the bio one even though it was easier than the quizzes. I think I wrote a bit excessively for the essay question. I tend not to comprehend the question until half-way through and I realize that "how would I know...? oh shit that wasn't the question" chincharones. I went too much in detail of what the H+ and OH- concentrations were. Oh well, alls fair in love and war...

During the debate meeting I was intent on studying my bio book carefully. Actually during homeroom today ma hr teacher sent me to Lawders (sp?) class to borrow an AP bio book so she could answer my question on whether Urea (a type of mammal animal urine) was a cheaper reactant to forming a product in melamine. I asked her because I read somewhere on a forum last night (very late) when I was doing research on the content of the milk contamination.

What I've noticed lately is that aside from the Bay area, a lot of people don't like Asians. It depresses me to finally sorta understand the racism and generalizations that people in America practice. The reason I bring this up is because in the melamine forum that I was at, there were pages and pages of China bashing. I know this is hypocritical to say but, honestly I think that it's semi-okay for someone to bash China - as long as you're Chinese. I suppose that this could also be considered a form of racism, but I don't see people bashing Europe nearly as much as China. I just feel so solee fol ma peeplhole (notice the use of accent). I hate defending my racism. ladidadida reality is a dick hole with kidney stones (very painful indeed cuz they need to pee the stones out >.<)

-Littleleafer

Gaaah

I didn't realize I had so much homework until it was too late. Obviously I'm still awake at aprox 337 AM

I haven't even studied for my bio test. I guess i'll just do it at lunch.

gawdfuckers

dumbass

i think that i am a very angry person

all my frustrations build into anger because i have zero tolerance

such a tragic human being

such a dumbfuck

--

this is called self-bashing

it seems habitual these days

-leafing

dinner

last night was so COOL

i went to this realllyreally fancy restaurant and i ate the tasting menu which was sweeet!

the restaurant was called "Manrosa" or something, and it was hella high class.
we had almost 15 courses! there was so much. i could list them but i'm too lazy, srri dudes. ANYWAY the service was grrreeeat! and yeah. I went with my aunt who was visiting SF from LA for my birthday, and prior to that we went shoppping and I got two new pairs of shoes on SALE from Loehmanns and an awesome vest! I am really happy (we didn't even spend more than 60! record!)

i really wanna buy some more cool t-shirts but things are so expensive! why isn't the economy affecting these prices significantly? grrr, so much for taking advantage of the fricken economic crisis!

The other day i lost my wallet, with all my credit cards and gift cards from my b-day >.< grr. yeh i looked everywhere. No one is a good samaratin these days.

-ciaofonow

Gross

hmm loners must be lonely

doctordoctordoctordoctordoctordoctordoctordoctordoctor

I want to be a doctor.

I was watching "House" and the show is so great.

I will become good docta one dayy

-M

Wafer Thin Happiness

That just how the cookie crumbles eh?

I feel like a what does christina call it...uhhh "pseudo-philosopher" teehee

lalalala
-megumi

The Day

I think that I have new respect for people I originally thought were stupid.
It's a bittersweet feeling. I am a narcissist and well, I don't know how to describe in a relatively flattering way that it makes me feel jealous. The good thing is that the jealousy doesn't make me hate them or anything, it's just sort of letting go. The whole bond was similar to a hydrogen bond...not making sense there - just wanted to give a visual image.

I think that my day is boring, but at least it wasn't horrible.

In realizing that when I get to know people I tend to drift away, I don't know how to solve the problem. Once upon a time I read a book about this man who only yearned for what he could not have. I wonder if I have inherited that trait from him, for I only wish to attain things that seem far away - once obtaining it/or the person, I fear that letting go is the only option. The reason for this is that I either dislike their personality, get annoyed, but mostly I find another unattainable thing.

This is a horrible way of thinking, and I hope that I can grow out of this.

I have been reflecting lately on how I became this loser shell. I realized that so many things could have been accomplished if I hadn't gotten sick and discovered anime and manga.

There is a story behind this. Middle school was a beautiful sanctuary for this young girl - everyday being wonderful fun adventure. She had many friends whom she could rely on and trust wholeheartedly. She was a relatively capable student, with a suitable balance of extracurriculars - which she loved. She loved singing, but never appreciated it until it was gone. One day, things changed. She became somewhat depressed. She started to miss school - the excuse being a chronic stomach ache that was not entirely non-existent, but also not entirely a sufficient reason to be absent. Slowly, the reason was not only to go on her computer and watch anime, but was also the stress of trying to keep up work from home and facing people when going back to school. There was this pressure of facing the teachers after being absent for so long. Thankfully she miraculously managed to sustain her average grades.

Her social life went downhill. She no longer had so many friends she could trust and rely on - because she was not there for them the whole year. Bonds break from distances. Still to this day, possessing more superficial acquaintances to converse with in class and to wave to in the halls. What the hell has happened? Every tick of the second hand plagues her brain, her urge to be released from school becomes obsession. Tick. TOck. It is no longer an obsession but a longing so great that, the greener grass on the other side - the freedom - becomes too wonderful to imagine. When she is finally liberated from the madhouse, there is nothing but barren desert.

Knowing this. The cycle continues, not in ignorance, but repetition that surfaces from habit as well as a slight hope that something will be different.

Crying yet? xD

-The Leaf

Errgish

I don't like the way that I try to make other people perceive me as.

It is hard to do this.

I wonder how long it will last.

-the lonely leaf