Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Contemporary society convinces us that there is a possibility for one to resolve their inner conflicts by consulting a psychologist. I have personally considered, and actually gone to talk to one. I always think for days on what to say, a way to quantify my own psyche, a method to explain what I think the problem is. These issues are obviously taboo, and awkward to talk to ones parents about. No one wants their parents to know that they are losers and need help. In my mind, I find a distorted sense of endearment towards the image I project.

Unfortunately every time I am able to speak to a psychologist or nurse, I end up spouting the routine nonsense that I have repeated time and time again. Nothing is produced from the sessions, the time could even be compared to sleeping. My subconscious probably has many conversations with itself...about the same issues. When I watch teen angst movies, or tv series' like "The Secret Life of the American Teenager," I feel like my problems are so trivial. How small I feel to be concerned with matters that are ant sized compared to others who have teen pregnancy and abuse. How wrong is it to feel a twinge of jealousy at the eventfulness of their lives. How inconsequential is my yearn for excitement and variety in my life. It is doubly depressing to know that one is clinically depressed because of boredom and lack of drama - furthermore being the issue is so trifling that I needn't spend money on speaking of it.


Christina. said...

Truer words have never been spoken (or in this case, written!)... Yes, I do indeed feel my mind being enriched by Ms. Domrose's fine, fine pedagogy everyday. She's wonderful. Sigh.

Christina. said...

I wouldn't necessarily remark that I concluded my entry with such "optimism", but rather presenting the other perspective through my rebuttal... mentioning a number of not-so-cynical prospects than what I usually crank out in my writing and hoping for some progress to be made. And you have a legitimate arguement when you say that the whole environment of STEM meetings is a little less-than-welcoming and quite frankly, mind-numbing. They were definitely more productive last year, as opposed to now under our mediocre leadership... Diana and Nathan have essentially restored the Eco-Friendly club in their unchanged facilitation of our meetings, disregarding the foundations over which this club was built and the factors that made the overall operations of the whole shebang WORK last year. I'm peeved. & the garden project is pretty kickass, an ongoing undertaking in part due to how terrible it would be to demolish and discontinue such a wonderful thing that was just proposed last year... and which could function to everybody's benefit. IMHO, we're coasting on what was established last year and haven't really introduced any new, NEW projects other than mulching in the South Court Gardens to refurbish the soil in preparation for a new variety of non-weed plants. The mulching takes place in the same spot as the garden. I'm waiting for a radically different STEM project to develop, but at this rate with one of our incompetent student leaders I question whether or not such will actually take effect. I just returned from my first ESLI Youth Advisory Board this year at the Global Exchange, in which Diana got into as well... She really is as meek and juvenile in her leadership skills as she comes off during STEM meetings. I only appear subdued on Monday lunch sessions because your homeroom teacher is straight-up intimidating.

Oh man, way to open your eyes up to how green you were as a little underclassman in your political thought, eh? Politicians can morph into such cult figures manifested from what they ultimately stand for and the pedestal up to which we hold them dear... rather than what they actually bring to the table. I almost refrain from discussing politics these days, as it is becoming harder and harder to make up my mind, since I be weighing out the pros and cons of multiple perspectives; time and time again.