i just keep thinking that there is something missing. besides my general inclinations i wonder whether i can do something else that will be more fulfilling.
is second-guessing a good thing? in my experience it isn't. i can count the number of times it has helped me on one hand.
i think that i'm really perverted. and it grosses me out when i meet people who are so perverted. i need to stop. but my entire being has turned into a suggestive-word-spewing autopilot. that didn't quite make sense.
i think that its funny in literature where people say that they can't imagine someone truly loving them. how corny, but vaguely true for many of us i think. how can one put all their trust onto one person. i like to convince myself that i am trusting, but i probably am not.
therapist = the rapist
demi told me about that and i believe it's funny
meat is murder
tasty tasty murder
looking back, i can't believe i attempted vegetarianism. without that i suppose though, i would never have fallen in love with hamburgers...
for the writers club (i joined a while ago) i feel like it's hard for me to stick on a topic. i listened to a piece a few weeks ago and i said something that she probably didn't appreciate. but i am considering writing a series of short stories about my personal experiences with familial, and social relationships with people. i need to sort myself out because recent drama has engulfed my life and it isn't as i had anticipated. i believe people now when they say that drama is not a welcome manifestation in life.
i really want to rekindle all my relationships, but i'm such a lazy asshole that i doubt even an inch will be accomplished.
i didn't record it on this blog, but i had a 3weekish spat with miranda and during that time, there was much tension. i think we've gone over that hurdle, but i hate effort in maintaining things. hopefully something similar doesn't occur again.